No More Spreadsheets

Secret #1 - I actually LIKE reading the financial news.

Secret #2 - I LIKE spreadsheets.

Secret #3 - If I see another spreadsheet before, say, Thursday, I am going to SCREAM!

Secret #4 - I may actually do some dishes in a desperate attempt to save myself from spreadsheets.

Okay, I can see that I need to explain.

Because I do not get enough exposure to spreadsheets and financial news during the course of my accounting class, I am also taking a computer applications class. We are presently in the spreadsheet module, including what-if analysis. This means I am lucky enough to be able to spend several more hours per week with my beloved spreadsheets.

The problem with this is that I have been working on creating spreadsheets since 7PM and it is now just after 10:30PM. I think I need a break. No more spreadsheets tonight!

Turkey Dinner For One, Part C

Today I was able to enjoy one of my favorite parts of turkey dinner.

A sandwich. Turkey, cream cheese, cranberry sauce on Canadian Oat bread. Hey, no comments til you actually try it! It's good - and I don't even LIKE cranberry sauce (except on these sandwiches. Besides, it beats the hell out of peanut butter, banana and mayonnaise, which some members of my family consider a delicacy. Hi Ma.).

I suspect comments like that are why my mother no longer reads my blog.

More good news, I suspect after today I will not write any more about turkey dinner for one, except for a possible mention when I make the remains of the turkey (and there are A LOT leftovers - the bird weighed 17 pounds) into turkey soup.

I think I'll go to bed now. Just the thought of all that chopping and peeling and slicing to make soup is too much for me.

Turkey Dinner For One, Part B

I am afraid of pie crust.

Not to eat pies that have crust, but I am afraid of making pie crust after today's incredibly annoying attempt at making an apple and pumpkin pie (yes, one pie with both apple and pumpkin, and yes, it is delicious!).

Let's just say that there was a lot of pain involved with making pie crust, and most of that pain was in the ass. There is now a lump of dough in my trash can, and I must remember to haul the bag of trash out to the big can outside before the dog knocks over the trash and eats the dough along with the remains of a 17 pound turkey, after the meat has been removed from the carcass.

Daisy and Jazz are both disappointed that the turkey was not left unattended, and they did not get to sneak a large potion each. They had to make do with small bites of turkey.

Now, the question is, should I do the dishes or just leave them for Laurie when she gets back on Monday?

Turkey Dinner For One, Part A

My coworkers think I am insane.

No, this has nothing to do with the time I put an infant skirt on my head and walked around the children's department. Ditto for claiming that some boring day I will hide behind some draperies and hiss "PICK ME" at people when they pass by. My coworkers don't think I am nuts for announcing that even as much as I dislike some of my relatives, I would not punish them by giving them the ugliest of the Christmas decorations that are in the store as gifts(I do maintain that those nutcrackers are JUST PLAIN SCARY!).

My coworkers think I am nuts because I am cooking turkey dinner for one tomorrow.

I'm not just roasting the bird. I am making cornbread dressing (made the cornbread from scratch today!), roasted sweet potatoes and parsnips and an apple and pumpkin pie(Yes, one pie that is both an apple AND a pumpkin pie. How cool is that?)

I think I forgot to mention that the turkey is 17 pounds. A bit much for one, but then I can make soup and turkey sandwiches (turkey with cream cheese and cranberry sauce on oat bread) and maybe even turkey a la king. Depending on how ambitious I am.

Even if I say to hell with the turkey, I'm still making the pie.

Still No Draperies

I find it odd that even though I work in the Window Coverings department, I still have not hung the draperies in my bedroom. I bought the panels a few weeks ago. I bought the rods yesterday. And yet still the draperies are in their packages, on the floor in the living room.

If they were in my bedroom window I might find it possible to sleep past the break of dawn tomorrow morning.

Maybe tomorrow. I have been putting in a lot of hours on my research paper for the West in American Culture - to the expense of everything else in my life, including bathing and seeing Scott (who is probably now mad at me - although I DID tell him I was sorry for being so completely psycho over this paper. And I sincerely meant the apology).

Anyways, one more week has passed where I just managed to finish my homework by the time I have to submit it. Maybe some day I will actually learn to get things done ahead of time instead of procrastinating until the very last possible minute.

I have my doubts that I will ever stop procrastinating, but if I ever manage to access my academic workshops, I am going to view the one about time management.

Why I Hate Halloween

I hate Halloween. It's not because of the candy, or the costumes. It's not because of the amazing inability of kids to get the hell out of the road. (Although I do confess to a momentary urge to run over a kid and her mother who were walking in the MIDDLE of the road for no reason!)

I hate Halloween because of the shitty attitudes of the Trick-or-Treaters. I hate having them bang on my door with fists, especially when they choose the glass in my storm door as a place to pound. I hate that when I don't open the door - and I don't, because not only do I hate Halloween but I'm not crazy about kids - they then try the door knob to see if the door is locked.

Yes, you read that right. Let me repeat, for emphasis:

When I don't open the door, they then try the door knob to see if the door is locked.

Who the hell do these kids think they are? And if my door had been unlocked, would they have walked in? What the hell are parents teaching kids these days?

Anyways, any momentary guilt about not dispensing candy, and thus avoiding having my truck and possibly house egged tonight has been displaced by annoyance that these shithead kids would attempt to open my door.

The best part? They don't know me.

Which means I have to ask one more time - What the hell are parents teaching their kids these days?

Next year I won't be bothering to buy any candy either.

To Hell With It All

I love when I get email updates of things people don't have the balls to tell me to my face.

Seriously, not only am I nonviolent (unless you cut me off in traffic because you were too busy lighting a Camel and talking on your cell phone to notice the bright red truck that I'm driving down the street) but I really appreciate direct, honest people. I don't appreciate finding out via email that my roommate is moving out in about 2 weeks.

I understand the financial situation that she is in, but what I don't understand is the inability to tell me directly that not only is she moving out but since the Internet is in her name, she's going to be having that turned off too.

Okay, I admit it, the Internet access is the thing I am most annoyed about. I HAVE to have my Internet access. Without it, I will go stark raving nuts and run around like a crazy person. I will most likely also attempt to steal high speed Internet from whichever neighbor has the best plan. The problem I have is that to take college courses on the Internet, I have to HAVE the Internet in order to take my classes.

Then there's also the paying-rent issue.

Guess I better look for another job. So much for having a life.