Angel Kitty's Christmas List

Angel Kitty has already made many demands for what she requires me to buy her for Christmas. She's highly disgruntled this week because of my work schedule. I can tell because the minute I sit down she's on my lap, even when I'm using the toilet. Angel figures that since I'm sitting, I might as well use the time productively and pay attention to her. I have tried to explain that I have to work because I must earn cat food money, but Angel apparently believes I could just rob a bank, because, after all, she is the Angel Kitty and everyone should take care of her.

She's a little bit spoiled.

I can't call what she wants for Christmas a wish list, because if I don't give her exactly what she wants, she will wait until I'm sleeping and then push my head off the pillow so she can sleep there (and give me an allergy attack in the process). As well as other unpleasant things like choosing to throw up a hairball on the bed or worse, where I will step on it when I get up in the middle of the night.

Last year at Christmas Angel proved that a declawed cat can still climb a Christmas tree. I came home from work one night and there was the cat, sitting about level with my shoulder in the branches of the Christmas tree. Did I remove her? Of course not - I figure, why move the fuzzy ornament? Naturally, she fell out of the tree while trying to climb down to thwart my plans to take a picture of her in the tree.

Angel has a six foot Christmas stocking. I have yet to figure out where I can hang it this year, maybe on the door. She also expects it to be filled. She will be disappointed.

Angel expects me to buy her:

• a case of fur mice, or better yet, a few real mice, possibly both
• a new feather attachment for her fishing pole style toy
• a 5 gallon vat of catnip
• treats
• new cat bowls, preferably personalized with her name
• a new place mat for her bowls
• cat food
• Feline Greenies and other treats
• more treats
• a few more fur mice
• cat litter
• a new litter box, preferably self cleaning

I have the idea that Angel would also like me to give the bed over to her and spend the rest of my life sleeping on the floor, so I don't prevent her from stretching out full length across the bed. I still don't know how a 13 pound cat can take up 2/3 of a full size bed.

Anyways, I have been trying to explain to Angel that I will need to work 24/7 until Christmas to meet her list of demands, but she just gave me the eyes-half-closed "aren't I cute?" look. The look that says, you will do it, because I deserve it. I think she practices that look in the mirror when I'm not home.

The next step will be doing the shopping. I would be happiest being able to skip that step. That way, I wouldn't have to shop for any presents, I could just go directly to wrapping. Except for Angel's presents. Last year she wouldn't unwrap her own presents, even when I stuffed the paper with catnip.