Some Things Just Make You Say Ewww

Today I saw this older guy, probably in his sixties, wearing Dickie's type work pants and suspenders. No shirt.

Not what I wanted to see. Not even CLOSE to anything I want to see.

But it was funny.

I had to go feed my friend Mini Me's cats, Gambit and Jax, today. I don't mind feeding the cats but due to road construction I had to take a different route to her apartment. On my way home (okay, to the gas station) I saw another older guy who had apparently been doing yard work. He had his lawn tractor hitched to the utility cart. He was sitting in the utility cart. It must have been break time.

I'm not sure why but that just struck me as being funny.

I have been absent from my blog for a few days - which is definitely not usual for me. On Monday we had to have my horse Sun Dance put down. I haven't been blogging since then because I just haven't had anything to say.

Also, because my job seems to be taking over my life. But more on this another time.

For now, I'm just going to relax and attempt to enjoy my day off. And try to remember to put antifreeze/coolant in my truck since it is completely out (true - I can't even see the level of the antifreeze in the tank).

Another One For the Bad Ideas File

Why did I register to take a digital photography course?

Why did I choose to attend a residency (Environmental Studies/Adirondack Residency) that no one seems to want to be bothered to give me any information AT ALL about?

Let's just say I'm a little annoyed and leave it at that.

I'm definitely adding this to my bad ideas file. It might have seemed to be a good idea at the time, but now that I have read the learning contract (because it's an independent study course) I've come to the conclusion that I really don't feel the need to build a required portfolio of my nature photographs.

I just don't want to.

I use my camera mostly for taking pictures of my pets and my flowers and occasionally family members when they are dressed stupidly or something. I'm perfectly happy with this. I don't necessarily think that learning more about photography is going to increase my enjoyment of the process. If anything, the opposite is probably true, because I'll be too focused on taking "good" pictures and will miss a lot of opportunities to take "bad" pictures which are usually the really good ones. At least, the ones I would consider displaying to the public or even showing to friends.

Besides, I can't say I'm all that impressed with the fact that I will have to spend a few nights in the same room as who knows who. Nothing better (read: worse) than sharing a room with who knows how many people that you don't know, and having to hear every snore and fart.

Anyways, now the search for a different class is on. The unfortunate part of this is that the reading period for faculty has begun and I doubt I will hear from my mentor until next month sometime. So I took it upon myself to drop the photography class and add an American History class.

This may also be something that I live to regret, but at least I won't have to sleep in the same room with anyone I don't know in order to complete the course.

Do You Take Your Marital Disputes Shopping With You?

The most entertaining part of my day today was listening to a couple having a screaming argument in the middle of the window coverings department.

Seriously, there is nothing like working retail to allow you to see the "best" of everyone. Well, that and having an idiot for a neighbor.

It sounded like this:
Her: What do you think?
Him: Why do I even bring you shopping with me if I have to make all the decisions anyways?
Her: I want to know what you think!
Him: We decided on what we were getting before we came to the store.
Her: Well they don't have that... (after this she started to sound like Charlie Brown's mother)
Him: So get something else.
Her: (whining) You're not helping.

Meanwhile their kids are having a great time racing around the department.

The moral of this story? Go ahead, have an argument when you go to buy draperies. It's going to entertain me as well as every other employee in the store and any shoppers who are fortunate enough to hear.

Just...Wrong

Generally, at work I use the "Family Restroom" in the back corner of the shoe department, because it's the closest to window coverings.

Yesterday, because the store was crowded with people school shopping with their kids, I decided it would be better to take the longer walk to the regular restroom on the other side of the store. I decided the chances of being asked multiple stupid questions about kid's clothing (questions that I would NEVER be able to answer due to: 1- complete and utter lack of experience with children, and especially children's clothing and, 2- complete and utter lack of training in any department other than window coverings and, 3- no desire to change either of these facts) would be far too great to make walking through a portion of the children's department worth it.

This was, of course, a mistake.

The reason it was a mistake was due to the sound effects coming from one of the bathroom stalls for the entire time I was in the women's restroom.

Seriously, if your stomach is that upset, JUST STAY HOME!

My Neighbor the Idiot, Part 3

I think that Sasquatch, my across-the-street neighbor, might have set her car on fire with a lit cigarette this morning. Or possibly her hair, I don't know for sure.

Her routine when she leaves for work is to start the car with the remote while standing two feet away from the driver's side door. Then she gets in the car, and immediately lights a cigarette. Then, she proceeds with an elaborate hair fluffing and smoking procedure that takes anywhere from two to five minutes. Depending, I assume, on how long she spent teasing and back-combing the massive 80's style frizz that is obviously not her natural hair color.

This morning during the hair fluffing portion of the entertainment, Sasquatch exited the car rather quickly, and stood by the open car door, apparently checking to see if she had burned off a chunk of her hair.

Note to anyone who didn't already know it - hairspray IS flammable. If you use half a can per day, that means your head is flammable. Which probably means it would be advisable to keep your lit cigarette away from your head.

Unless of course you just want to entertain the neighbor who doesn't like you anyways and would love nothing more than to feature you in her blog the day you catch your hair on fire. I sincerely hope I am able to capture a photo of that really funny event with my cell phone.

Ka-Ching!!

I made my first commission sales yesterday at work. My new favorite sound? A cash register tape printing. It was a good day, overall. Even my disgruntled customers became happy customers and ended up placing an even larger order, plus applying for a store credit card, which also means more money in my pocket.

The reason why the cashier asks you if you want to apply for a store credit card? Because the company pays us when someone does, and also because it's a requirement. So don't be completely crabby about it. Just say no politely.

I'm looking forward to next Friday, which is when I will receive my first commission paycheck. Now I just hope everyone decides to buy curtains and/or made to measure blinds or shades only during my shift.

Could Be Trouble

Her Highness, Queen Angelique Muffin (most commonly known as Angel Kitty) has decided that she can grace us with her presence.

She even consented to share her cat tree with Jazz. Of course Her Highness must have the top perch.

Even better, I finally have PROOF that all the animals CAN get along, and even share the couch without causing mass destruction and other forms of general mayhem. Here's the proof:


I can say that Angel Kitty has definitely missed lounging royally on her cat perch, even if it is too small for so much cat. And that is definitely a lot of cat...

It only took 7 months for them to consent to sitting on the couch together. Maybe by the end of a year Angel and Daisy will be best friends. That would be nice, wouldn't it?

My Neighbor The Idiot, Part Two

Another thing that makes my across the street neighbor, aka Sasquatch, an idiot:
her unfortunate habit of wandering around outside in a white bathrobe and those cheap slide on bedroom slippers, and a towel turban on her head.

Bonus points if she manages to lose her dog (see previous post) while wandering around in her bathroom/bedroom slipper/turban ensemble.

I confess to having walked my dog while wearing pajamas. The difference is, I had shoes on, my hair was not in a turban, and I was not in danger of flashing anyone should the robe come untied. Besides, I LIKE my (other) neighbors and wouldn't want to scare them should accidental flashing occur.

Best of all, Sasquatch occasionally wanders outside in the robe/slippers/turban outfit to yell at her lawn guy, the people from Thailand who live in the house next to hers, and let us not forget, to yell at her dog.

One word to describe all this? Idiot!

Why My Neighbor Is An Idiot

My across-the-street neighbor has been outside for the past few hours. She's sitting at a table in her yard with 2 of the other neighbors (next door and diagonal to the left, if you cared).

So far, she has lost her dog four times. Her dog is a little white fuzzy dog of some kind, I've never cared enough to look closely enough at him to figure out what kind of dog he is. Anyways, his name is Buddy. I'm pretty sure he has a crush on my Daisy-dog.

Anyways, so my neighbor, the one we have nicknamed Sasquatch for her unfortunate habit of walking like Godzilla when he's stomping Tokyo, has lost the poor dog repeatedly. Every little while I hear her start shrieking (and she has a very annoying voice) "BUDDY WHERE ARE YOU?" Then she whistles, which is also funny because the dog generally runs the other way when she does.

This of course is her own fault, because I have seen her hit that poor little dog for not coming when she calls him. Gee, I wonder why. Common Sense 101 - hit something when it comes to you, it's not likely to make that into a habit.

Actually I have hated Sasquatch since I moved here in 2004. This is for a lot of reasons, but one of the primary ones is her habit of actually encouraging her dog to "go" on my lawn. And she wonders why he nearly gets hit by cars at least three times a week. She screams at him for this also, and probably can't figure out why he keeps trying to go home with the Thai girl who lives nearby. (Because this girl picks the dog up and carries him around every time he gets a chance. It's probably the only attention he ever gets, except of course for being screamed at and smacked for not listening to the screaming.)

I have told Sasquatch three times this summer that it's called a leash, they sell them at WalMart, and they aren't expensive. Maybe she should make the investment so her dog doesn't get his by a car, or she doesn't lose him because she's too busy chain smoking and gossipping with our other neighbors about what a bitch I am. Well, my dog is trained, is always on a leash, and comes when called. Oh yes, and I have NEVER hit my dog.

This also makes me think just how dumb people are about dog behavior. That someone can own a dog for that long, and yet have absolutely no clue amazes me. Dogs really should come with owner's manuals, but since they don't, it's up to us, as owners, to educate ourselves on how to educate our dogs.

I also have a special disregard for anyone who rubs their dogs nose in an accident. It's cruel and it doesn't work. Why does the dog look so "guilty" when you come home and he's pooped in the corner? Because you're going to freak out and punish him for something, he doesn't know what. He's not feeling guilty, he's feeling anxious because your homecoming is anything but a happy time for him.

I've actually resorted to yelling at some kids in my neighborhood for yanking their puppies along by the leash. Usually, offering the put the leash on the kid's neck and yank it a couple times makes them consider that it hurts the dog.

Anyways, I'm still hoping to get some photos of Sasquatch hitting her dog, because I will call the cops. She deserves it.

I Just Want Nachos

Even though I'm still a little under the weather, and my stomach hasn't quite settled into the normal routine again, all I can think about is nachos.

Cheesy, delicious nachos.

Mmm. Cheese.

Actually, cheese is one of the things that hasn't appealed to me since I was sick last week, but I still want nachos. (Ice cream, normally the thing I never turn away from has also completely lost its appeal.)

I did something productive today, so I'm even starting to think that I DESERVE those nachos. I took a large stack of books from the living room to the shelf in my bedroom (by the way, Brian - where the hell is that shelf you were supposed to be finishing for me for my living room, using a small amount of the time you are NOT spending looking for a job? If you don't already know this, Brian is my brother.)

I also cleaned the top of my nightstand and emptied the drawer and organized everything. This I expect to last about 2 months. The reason I think it will last that long is because I really only go into the nightstand drawer once a day, at bedtime, for my chap stick. This does not mean that I don't have a candle lighter, 2 boxes of matches, 3 pens, one refill for a pen, nail clippers, a small lock box, a tin shaped like the Sagamore resort, 2 journals (new), and a pad of notepaper. And a sleep mask. And a pencil. And a few other things that I can't think of at the moment since I am in the living room and the items in question are in the bedroom, at the other end of the house.

Bottom line of all this organizing? Damn right I deserve nachos. (Hey, at least the salsa is healthy, the rest not so much.)

Lights Out!

I have one more computer training module to finish at work. Last night I was in the office in the bowels of the store and we lose power.

NOT the best place to be.

The funny part is that while there was a severe thunderstorm warning in effect, it was mostly for well south of here, in the Berkshires and near Albany.

We have no idea what caused the power to go out. As a matter of fact, we were looking out of the store at a nice sunny day (okay, it was a bit windy, but not so much that I suspect the wind of causing the problem).

So I got sent home from work early. I don't mind that, provided it doesn't happen regularly. I do mind coming home to a hot house with no air conditioning, should I feel the need to put aside my cheapness and actually run the units.

Yesterday was probably the hottest day of summer so far. I called my mother to see if their power was out (it was working) and found out that my father was in the woods, splitting firewood for this winter.

He always waits until the hottest day of summer to do that. Always has, and probably always will. My brother and I used to help him with the firewood when we were kids, but he used to complain about how we did it so much that it became easier to just let him do it himself, since apparently that's what he wanted anyways.

I think today I will break down and use the air conditioning. The downside of living in a giant metal box is that once it gets above a certain temperature with the sun shining, no matter how much breeze there might be, it's still hot in here.

Sometimes, I Don't Know About Me

I'm baking banana bread.

That's a good thing because it happens to be one of my favorites, and I have a "secret recipe" that's better than any one's.

Of course, today isn't really a good day for baking, as it is a little too warm, and not nearly breezy enough, due to my obsessive cheapness which equals a refusal to use my air conditioning units, even when it might make sense to do so.

Currently, it's over 80 degrees and getting more humid, which I guess is logical, considering that thunderstorms are expected later today and into tonight.

I'm sure I'll enjoy my banana bread, provided I survive until it's finished baking.

Bath Pouf Hernia

My bath pouf had a blowout this morning.

I'm sad because I have been nice to my bath pouf. I make sure to put it in the bag with my bras when it goes in the washer, so that it doesn't get torn apart by a rogue zipper on a pair of pants.

The pouf even has its own hook to hang on in the shower. Unlike my back brush/massager that has to share hanging space with a tube of body wash.

And now, the pouf has a blowout.

This really figures because the pouf was the perfect size. Ever notice that bath poufs are usually only found in enormous or tiny? This was a rare find - a medium sized pouf.

Now, I'll have to find a new pouf. From experience, I know that once the first blowout happens, another will soon follow. Then, instead of a pouf, I'll have a really long piece of mesh.

The other problem with finding the perfect bath pouf is the price. Sure, you can get the enormous ones in WalMart for around $3 (Has anyone else noticed WalMart's prices rising substantially?). At a certain bath and body specialty store, I once noticed bath poufs. They seemed to be the perfect size, so of course I had to look. For the low price of $12 one could have been mine. No thanks, I'll just use a washcloth, of which I have a billion and only use to wipe my cat's and dog's eyes (and sometimes backsides) when absolutely necessary.

Texture is the other problem. I once saw a tip on a money saving website that said to save a mesh onion bag and cut off the metal fasteners, then create a pouf out of that. No, thanks anyways, I thought. I'll just scrub myself with a Brillo pad if it comes to that. So even more important than finding the right size pouf is finding one that isn't going to remove more than two layers of skin at a time.

I can see much ass-pain ahead of me as I shop for a new pouf.

What A Day

I'm not entirely sure what happened to me today. I woke up and didn't feel very well so I spent the next 4 hours or so napping on the couch, with Jazz and Daisy. Then I still didn't feel well and I had to go in to work at the new job at 5 PM so I decided I should just lie down in bed for a few hours and hopefully feel better.

It didn't work. It was about 80 degrees in the house and I was literally shivering while wrapped up under a blanket and the comforter, with Angel Kitty and Jazz acting as furry hot water bottles.

I did drag myself in to work. I'm not sure how I made it - I felt so weak that it was an effort to grip the steering wheel to drive. Lucky me it's less than 10 minutes away. Somehow I managed to walk into the store and make it to the offices. It was a struggle.

I am only working on my computer training in the office, so I'm sitting at a desk watching this tutorial about how the custom order software works. I'm not sure what this says, but I was able to get nearly all of the review questions correct even though I was dozing off during the presentation. I'm thinking that this might not be a good thing.

Anyways, I lasted two hours at work, and without going into graphic details let me just say they sent me home because I did not feel well. I made it home, went directly to bed (still shivering) then finally woke up when I started to get warm. I think the worst has passed.

The thing is, I have absolutely no idea why I am so sick today.

I think it's sweet how all the animals are so concerned. When I was in bed after work, Angel and Jazz both had to walk up by my face, stick their nose up to the end of my nose and pat my face with their paws. Angel does this routinely, but this is the first time Jazz has. Daisy, apparently, was all worried about me. I heard her whine a little bit when I first woke up but before I made up my mind if it would be possible to get out of bed yet.

Angel left one of her toy mice on the bed, presumably to make me feel better.

Problems in (Crochet) Paradise

I am nearly finished with the granny square afghan that has been hanging around here forever. I have only one more square to complete then I can start the really annoying part - sewing all the panels together.

The problem? I am out of black yarn.

Here I was having thoughts that I would be able to get the blanket finished and give it away to get it, and it's materials out of my house. This had to happen.

Last night I went to AC Moore to attempt to locate the yarn I need. I am desperate - enough so that I would even settle for a different dye lot. While AC Moore did have in stock black yarn of the brand I need, they did not carry the thickness I need. They have chunky yarn and chenille and even suede yarn, but not worsted weight.

What the hell is up with that?

This meant a visit to the Lion Brand website. (If you need yarn, go here.) I can get the yarn that I need to finish my project, but I'm willing to bet that shipping will cost at least as much as one skein of yarn. Go figure.

So, I will probably end up ordering yarn for an entirely new project. This is not a bad thing. I do really enjoy crochet, I just haven't done it for a while. Other things were taking up too much of my time, apparently. A new project might be just what I need.

Didn't I say I was going to finish the old projects and get them out of here before I started a new project? Well, I lied. Besides, there is nothing wrong with having multiple craft projects in various stages of completion around the house. Just ask me about the bluebird toy I am crocheting for Jazz, with plans to stuff it with catnip.

Speaking of new projects, I have invested in two new pattern books. One is patterns to crochet toys and blankets for pets (which, of course, is where I got the pattern for Jazz's bluebird toy). The other is another afghan book.

The best part of all this? Now Laurie wants to crochet. Nothing like sharing the wealth. Maybe I should just have her finish the pink afghan that sits here in a bag, half done.

At least I can't claim to be doing nothing. I have to admit that crochet is considerably more productive than many things I could be doing.

Now I'm going to drool over my many collected crochet patterns and attempt to pick out my new project.

The Winner

I started crocheting again.

So far, I have completed the crochet work on the felting project, I now need to decide if I want to "felt" it in the washer or by hand. Probably by hand. It seems stupid to use the washer for things that are so small.

Since I was in the mood I decided to work on one of the many partially finished afghans. Not the pink one that Laurie wants. The other one.

There's a story behind this afghan. My friend Mini Me and I were in AC Moore one day and saw the pattern but of course couldn't find all the necessary yarn. Typical. Another day a few weeks later we tried again. Still no yarn. A couple months later, we were in the store again and actually had in stock all the colors the pattern required. So I got the yarn.

I'm going to have to give this to Mini Me when it's finished because I just don't like it. The colors are heather grey, black, cream, and forest green. In a granny square pattern. To be completely honest, I would like it better if it weren't for the grey. So, I think it's fitting that I give it to Mini Me if I ever get the damn thing finished.

Of course, I still have to look at it while I finish the work. But I guess I can tolerate that, knowing that at the end I'll be able to rid myself of the product. I could just want to get it out of my living room, but I'm not sure.

Now I'm off to a website that promises to have directions for hand felting. Go here if you are interested. Or bored. Or just like random things.

A Definite Maybe

Yesterday I decided that since I can't do school work right now because my classes are officially over, I should probably think about enjoying one of my many hobbies.

Which one? I guess I could start playing guitar again, but after 16 years of that it's truly become boring. I want a violin but there's no way I'm going out and spending that much money right now. And let's face it, harmonica is just lame - even if it is the only instrument I could afford.

I would like to start painting again. I bought a set of watercolors (good ones, not the stuff you find in the toy department at WalMart) plus brushes and paper a year or so ago but have never really gotten into it as much as I would like. Mostly because of the large mistake I made last fall, namely trying to move to a place I didn't like or really want to move to.

I have been working on writing fiction. I should be very qualified to write fiction - my entire life to an outsider probably sounds like a work of fiction. But, I can't write as often as I need something to do lately.

I had the bright idea last night that I could crochet. I know how and have made several afghans over the past few years. I do think my mother is still a little annoyed that I have given other family members afghans but have yet to make one for her. (Some day, Ma).

Then I stumbled across a kit I bought to make some felted pouches, like a little wallet that you can attach to your key chain. I've wanted to try felting for a long time now. This is a small project that won't annoy me excessively if it doesn't work out the way I want it to.

Of course nothing in my house is safe from Daisy the One-Dog Destruction Crew. The yarn to use to crochet the pouches prior to felting them was tangled up really badly, mostly because of Daisy's insatiable urge to just destroy something.

I drafted Laurie to help me untangle the yarn. Somehow this led to the organization of the basket of yarn and completed granny squares for an afghan I started over a year ago. That somehow led me to go in to my bedroom and produce the afghan that has been annoying me for 6 or 7 years but that I thought Laurie would like (because it's pink and she likes pink). Of course she did like it, so this probably means that I will, eventually, have to finish that as well.

Bottom line is, I started out having no idea what project I would work on and now have enough projects that I don't know which to work on first. Typical. Maybe I can sort of time-share and work on all of them.

Then again, I only have until Monday to need something to do. I start my new job on Monday! Strangely, I am looking forward to that, but it means all this time spent finding a new project was a bit useless.

Since tomorrow is Independence Day (and I finally have made plans!) I won't be home to work on any of my many projects anyways! I'll be at my parents eating buffalo burgers.

(Two other words that spell check doesn't know how to spell - or recognize - are "independence" and "organization")

Back to the Land of Employment

I found a job.

Finally.

Of course, unlike my brother, I was actually LOOKING for a job, and APPLYING to job openings. Then again, if you're looking and applying for jobs, you do have to leave the house during the day, at least for the interview, and this might cut into time spent at the bar or playing pool.

Was that a shot? I think maybe. Not so much a cheap shot, because every word I said was accurate, but definitely a shot.

Anyways, I have the July 4th weekend off before I start my new job. I won't say where I'll be working, I'll just say it's in the mall and I'm going to be in the commission-based window coverings department.

Too bad I don't have any plans for the holiday weekend, but that's another story entirely.

I can't wait. Finally, a job where I won't have to wear a uniform shirt, and I can actually wear nice clothes to work without the fear of ruining them. Too bad I own exactly 3 nice shirts, all of which are total pain to iron.

Even better than having a job, it appears that I'll be able to put off mowing the lawn for a while longer. From what I hear, it's supposed to rain for at least the next week. Yay! We all know that mowing is on my list of things I would really prefer not to do.

Best of all, today was the last day of term. No more college until September. Strangely, while I'm happy that all the work is done, and I know I can really use a nice long brain break before the next semester begins, I'm going to miss my classes. At least I got to use my brain for once, instead of just sort of letting the dust balls rattle around inside my head.

Anyways, I have ironing to do. Maybe if I start now I can iron out all of the wrinkles that I accidentally iron in to my shirts when I am attempting to press them.

And maybe I can get some work done on that novel I started writing ages ago...Let's face it, I won't be using my brain on school, so maybe I can do something fun. Speaking of fun, what I would really like to do is start painting again.

Yet another gripe with the spell check feature on Blogger: it doesn't recognize the word "accidentally." Maybe I should change it to "mistakenly" except I'm not entirely sure that IS a word. Oh and more about "accidentally" - while using spell check the first time, I used their suggested spelling. Now the spell check is still saying it is spelled wrong, but the spelling IS what they suggest. Go figure!

Seriously - Almost Done

The Dreaded Term Paper is almost done. The problem is actually not that I could not find enough sources, which was my first thought when I started this paper. My problem is that I found an abundance of sources.

I guess that's good because my goal was to compare research on companion animals, specifically if they are good for the owner's health (and therefore stress levels) or not.

Surprisingly, it's hard to find a bit of research that says pets are bad for you. Even the articles on pet bereavement couldn't say that pets are stressful.

Anyways, I have less than a page left.

Other good news, I have only part of a 25-question final exam left to do for Accounting. And here I thought I was going to be pulling an all nighter tonight to finish everything. Nope. I did have enough time.

I still have to work on this problem with procrastination that I have, but that's another story. Maybe next semester I will conquer that.