Shallow Mind, Deep Thoughts

I Wonder If It IS Just Me

2012-01-28T22:07:00.000-05:00

Today I attempted to complete an assignment for my January term classes that required use of Microsoft Visio. Yeah. Right.

I started using the software but immediately became confused because there are 9 BILLION different shapes that one can use to create a flow chart. So it's really no problem using the software to plug in the specific shapes, but it IS a hassle finding the exact shape that I need to replicate the specific flow chart that I need to create.

In other news, it was a good excuse to visit Barnes and Noble. They didn't have any books to help me with using Visio, but I did make a purchase from the bargain section. And I found out from the person in the help desk that there IS a Visio book available as an e-book. Now I love to read, and I love computers, but the joy of E-Readers has so far escaped me. I would rather read a book and use a computer to play games...I mean, do homework. Of course I mean homework. Ha.

Anyway, I caved under the pressure of desperation to figure out how to find the shapes I need for my flow chart assignment. So I downloaded the free Nook for PC application. And so far I must admit that it sort of sucks. But given a choice between paying $55 to order the book I need and have it shipped to me or being able to download the e-version for $16 I decided to stick to my usual policy of excessive cheapness.

I find it a lot more useful to have a physical book to refer to when trying to figure out software. Somehow it's less than helpful to have to continually toggle back and forth from the Nook for PC application and the MS Visio file. So I have to admit that I am less than thrilled with my first experience with an e-reader. (Or maybe it's just the excessive screen brightness of my laptop that makes reading a pain (in the eye, not the ass, in case you were wondering).

Among the Missing

2012-01-24T15:25:00.000-05:00

I think it's a whole new low - I haven't posted a blog entry for well over a month. I guess I only have the mental bandwidth for a certain number of obsessions at a time.

I have rediscovered how much I love to crochet. I made an entire afghan between December 17th and January 14th. That was fast work for me, considering that for previous projects, I have taken over a year to finish the entire thing. Add to that how much I love to have multiple projects in progress at the same time as well as an inability to accurately determine how long a certain project will take, and EVERYTHING takes forever. Oh well. At least I always have a project.

I also have my ongoing obsession with World of Warcraft. Unlike a few payers that I know, WoW hasn't yet taken over my life. I don't stay home from work so I can play WoW (but considering how bad things are becoming at my job, it's just a matter of time before I start doing just that). But regardless, playing WoW is rather time consuming.

And of course my spring semester classes have started, which also keeps me busy. Honestly though? I miss my blog. So I have to prioritize a bit more and start spending more quality time here. I guess I need to become obsessed with blogging all over again. Obviously I'm not poised to become one of those people who can effortlessly do it all. Then again, I just want to find the time I need to work on my many projects.

Tis The Season...To Be Miserable

2011-12-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

Christmas shopping is in full swing and what I can't figure out is why it makes people so miserable. If shopping doesn't make you happy you're definitely shopping for the wrong stuff and, most likely, the wrong reasons. It's not supposed to be about the stuff. It's supposed to be about the joy of giving.

I guess I don't understand the people who wait until the last couple of weeks before Christmas to even start their shopping. There isn't a time during the year when I am NOT Christmas shopping. Maybe that's because of my desire to spread the financial burden through the entire year as well as to buy items that I think the giftees will really appreciate.

This year I finished my Christmas shopping in November. That's actually a little late for me. But now, since I LIKE choosing and giving gifts, I still want to find more stuff to give. This is when I have to start searching the house for odds and ends that can be made into a creative gift, which tends to be a problem because not only are my work hours completely out of control but I am coming up to the end of the fall semester with the explosive increase in amounts of school work due.

But the bottom line is that getting ready for Christmas makes me happy. I enjoy buying things for people. What I don't understand are the people who are Christmas shopping and acting miserable about it. Or complaining about how huge their credit card bills will be in January. I think it's a matter of shopping because they feel they have to (which tends to lead to people who give lousy gifts...fruitcake anyone?). Okay, yes, it is the thought that counts, but honestly? If all people are thinking while they are shopping is how much they hate buying stuff for other people and how they don't want to spend the money, it's no wonder they give gifts that suck.

These are also the people who tend to take every imaginary slight out on the cashier. I'm terribly sorry that we are out of stock on the item that they HAVE TO HAVE, but since I didn't buy them all myself (and am not in charge of acquiring merchandise for the store), I wish these people would yank the stick out of their ass and calm the hell down. The world is not going to end if you have to choose something else to give your mother-in-law's best friend's uncle's cat. Then again, if you are buying gifts for your mother-in-law's best friend's uncle's cat, you not only need to get a life, but rethink what you are trying to do by buying a gift for him,.

I also don't understand the people who have the philosophy that you should give as a gift something that the person would not buy for him or herself. Honestly? If I wouldn't buy it for myself, I wouldn't want someone to buy it for me. I would rather have something practical. I used to hate it when I was a kid and got socks and underwear for Christmas. Now I think it's a great gift and I wish someone would buy me some bras. That's my idea of a good gift - something that I need and will use. NOT another dust catcher.

The bottom line? If you are that pissed off about giving, maybe you should rethink your reasons. If you would rather spend the money on yourself (and then wonder why you have no friends), go for it. Just stop being miserable and making every attempt to ruin the holidays for those of us who are making a valiant effort to enjoy them.

Turkey Math

2011-11-21T13:12:00.000-05:00

I started defrosting my Thanksgiving turkey today. The problem there is I don't have enough room in the fridge due to the large bowls of leftover meatloaf and chicken soup residing in there. So, my turkey is currently resting comfortably in a cooler full of water. So maybe it's not the best idea I have ever had, but it's going to work until Matt gets home and I give him the news that he needs to make room in the fridge for the bird.

Because of our work schedules, Matt and I decided it would be too difficult and time consuming to go to either of our families for the holiday. Result? I'm cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I figured out the menu already - cornbread stuffing (my brother would say it's "dressing" as I do not plan to place it inside the bird), mashed redskin potatoes, parsnips (which I love only slightly less than beets), a buttercup squash, pumpkin pie, and of course - the turkey and gravy.

I have to work tomorrow and Wednesday, so I am trying to figure out ahead of time when I need to start cooking what. At this point I'm up to using formulas from calculus. I'm not sure why I'm worried about getting everything done on time. Matt isn't going to care if the turkey is done but I'm still working on the mashed potatoes. As a matter of fact, he might prefer it since he likes food to be barely lukewarm anyway (this is a conflict because I like things steaming hot). The best I have come up with so far? I need to start the turkey around noon for our 3 PM dinner.

So far all I figured out is that I will be making the pumpkin pie on Wednesday either before or after work, and the same goes for the cornbread that I will need to make the stuffing. I guess that means I get to go shopping tomorrow after work. Or maybe my cold will still be terrible tomorrow and I can delegate that task to Matt. After all, if he's going to eat the dinner, he should have some part in preparing the dinner. Then again, he helped me make the chicken soup but neglected to remove the skin from the rotisserie chicken before placing the chicken pieces in the soup. Talk about a slimy mess...so it might be better to just kick him out of the kitchen except for his usual table-clearing and dish washing duties.

I admit that I am looking forward to having a nice holiday dinner with Matt. It will only be slightly spoiled by the fact that Matt will need to go to sleep immediately after dinner so he can get up in time to be at work at midnight. But that's a topic to save for my annual Black Friday rant.

Now I need to get back to searching Google for tips on how to make gravy. And maybe I should eat some meatloaf to get it out of the refrigerator and make room for the turkey. Then again, I can't taste anything so I would never notice if it had spoiled. The last thing I need is to complicate my cold with food poisoning.

Time To Spend Time With Rogaine... I WISH I Were Joking

2011-11-12T19:46:00.000-05:00

The other night I managed to scratch the top of my head and cause it to bleed. Not that surprising really since I do a lot of dumb ass things like that. I mean, the back of my leg still hurts where I sliced it open by kicking myself with the other foot while trying to become untangled from the sheets a couple mornings ago. So while I was investigating the top of my head with a hand mirror to see how much damage I had caused I made a terrible discovery.

I'm 30 years old and I'm losing my hair. Let's just say I part my hair in the center and the part is getting larger. This is NOT good. Not at all.

I stopped in Walgreen's on my way home from work to purchase hemorrhoid remedies (well, my job has that effect on me, what can I say?) and spent some time reading the box for the Rogaine for Women. Yep, the part in my hair looks just like that of the woman in the drawing on the box. Hmm, does this stuff really work? Oh...20% of women noticed an improvement after using the stuff for 90 days. Well. Umm. I guess I'll keep my $30, thanks just the same. And I'll also be keeping my bald spot.

So when someone notices that I have started to part my hair on the side, that's because I'm doing the female version of the comb-over. And when the side part starts to get bigger? Then I'll be taking a page from my brother's Book of Stupid Ideas and shaving my head. Or maybe I'll just buy the Rogaine.

The Fried Egg Chronicles

2011-11-04T22:45:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I decide that life, for the immediate future, will not be worth living unless I have a fried egg sandwich. Toast, sliced American cheese, plenty of butter, and the eggs fried to perfect over-medium equals delicious.

It's the "perfect over-medium" part of that equation that gives me problems, so I now present my most recent adventures in egg-frying.

Arrive home from work and realize that, since I haven't cooked or visited the grocery store for several days, there is exactly nothing in the house to eat. (Except tuna, and I had a tuna sandwich for lunch, so that's not an option.)
Inspect contents of refrigerator and discover that I did remember to purchase eggs.
Remove 2 eggs, butter (for cooking), margarine (for spreading on toast), American cheese from refrigerator, place 2 slices of toast in toaster, locate salt and pepper.
Melt butter in heavy stainless steel frying pan.
Add eggs, for a change not breaking yolks - a promising start!
Cook eggs for a few minutes, then carefully turn them over, only breaking one yolk in the process. And it actually wasn't so much broken as leaking so I still count this as success.
Continue cooking eggs until toaster indicates my toast is ready. Turn off burner, but leave eggs in pan on burner.
Spread margarine on bread (not because I care about cholesterol but because I actually LIKE a certain brand of margarine better than butter).
Place slices of American cheese on toast.
Scoop up fried eggs, breaking one yolk in the process (but still counting this as a success because at least the egg made it on to my toast and the yolk was still soft enough to be runny).
Enjoy delicious fried egg sandwich and glass of orange juice (not just for breakfast anymore, anyway).

My normal process of frying eggs goes more like:

Remove same ingredients as above from storage locations, start toast.
Break yolk and drop egg shells into frying pan. Swear.
Swear again when egg shells fracture into even tinier pieces when I try to pick them out of frying pan.
Burn finger.
Swear some more.
Attempt to turn eggs before they are ready.
Break yolk, tear white, create mess in frying pan.
Swear a bit more.
Invent new combinations of swear words
Contemplate asking my mother to actually show me how to fry an egg some day, but acknowledge that would be like admitting defeat so won't do that.
Realize eggs were still cooking over medium heat when I should have turned the burner down to low after turning the eggs.
Invent new swear words.
Consider whether Merlot will go with an egg sandwich, because after all this I need a drink.
Remove toast and spread with margarine, then place cheese on toast.
Notice that eggs are burning.
Scrape torn fragments of egg out of frying pan.
Burn finger.
Swear a little more.
Bite into sandwich, ending up with a partial mouthful of egg shell and discovering that the toast is by now stone cold.
Decide to hell with it, and eat the sandwich, burned parts, shell pieces, cold toast and all.

Fair warning to all - I will NOT be cooking fried eggs if you stay over at my house, but could be easily persuaded to make my awesome scrambled eggs or a mega-omelet, neither of which cause quite as many problems as fried eggs.

The New Stupid Neighbor

2011-10-31T13:37:00.000-04:00

If you recall, I used to like my neighbors (well, not the bitch across the street, but judging by the fact that she NEVER has visitors, no one else likes her, either). Now I have a couple of guys in their early 20's on one side who replaced their 80 year old grandfather as my neighbor when he moved in with his "lady friend," who, rumor has it, is in her mid 90's. They are okay, except for those times when they are watching sports and get a little loud yelling at the TV. In that case, I just yell at them to keep it down and they usually do.

Now the idiot on the other side, who replaced my adorable if rather nosy little old lady neighbor is a completely different story. I call the guy Joe Dirt because I don't know his proper name (and don't really care). Although, to give a David Spade character his due, I don't think Joe Dirt ever started drinking beer at 10:30 AM like this moron. And I'm also pretty sure that neither David Spade nor Joe Dirt would randomly toss their trash into my yard then act as though it never happened. So I guess I need to come up with a new, more offensive nickname for this moron.

Anyway, this guy is such a loser that he has to rent his mobile home from it's true owner because he's apparently too ghetto to qualify to buy a trailer for himself. I feel qualified to make the judgement that he's ghetto - in the worst possible sense of the word because of the extra large bag of trash that he had sitting in his back yard rather than placing it in his trash can in the front yard (I mean, it was really just a matter of going out the front door and not the back). The same day I noted the trash bag is the day I saw the rat.

Okay, rats in a trailer park - even one that tries to be a decent park, like this one - are not exactly an unusual sighting. This rat was special, however. The reason this rat was so special? It was enormous. I'm pretty sure it was bigger than my cat, who weighs in at 14 pounds. I'm sort of afraid to use my back yard now because I'm afraid the rat will eat me. And I'm doubly afraid for Daisy, who is definitely small enough to qualify as a prey item for the giant rat, lured into my vicinity by an idiot neighbor.

Because of this idiot, I had to put up a fence to keep people out of my yard. Clearly this guy is an idiot since the people who routinely walk through his yard are the ones who have been responsible for littering and egging pretty much everywhere they go. Then, after my fence was built, this idiot felt it was perfectly okay to take the lawn mower to my irises that just happened to end up on the other side of my fence. I'm not sure what gave him that right, and I especially don't know why he found it appropriate to slam his lawnmower into my fence while ruining my flowers.

Even better, this guy has a mistaken idea of where the lot line is. Personally, I think he needs to stay on his own side and leave me and my stuff the hell alone. The strangest incident was when he moved a tree branch that was cut down. It was on my lot, but apparently it was too close to his lot, so the next thing I know, the branch was near my driveway -right where people park when they come over to visit me. I guess he figures because he has no family or friends (likely due to his lack of social skills), that my visitors don't need a place to park. And he would be wrong. Although I guess I could just let them park on HIS lawn and see how he likes that.

So now I'm forced to think of ways to make his life a living hell. Don't worry. I can make it happen. Too bad we can't just open up the heads of people this stupid, rude and annoying and pour some common sense in there.

Finally, A Functioning Oven

2011-10-27T11:11:00.000-04:00

Today I had my oven serviced. And it was about time since I am thoroughly sick of having to put everything in the microwave or cook on the stove top or in the toaster oven since my real oven didn't want to work.

Now I'm having a tough time deciding what to bake first. I'm out of the habit of baking since my oven has been acting up since early this spring (yeah, it took me 6 months to decide to get it fixed, so what?). Maybe I should make myself a birthday cheesecake since tomorrow is my birthday and I just happen to have the day off (coincidence? Hell no, I requested this week off back in February, shortly before the oven decided to only work when it wanted to).

Otherwise, I think I miss casseroles the most. Definitely something special about having a dinner that you can just dump into a pan, stuff in the oven, set timer and remove when done. And I haven't made muffins since last winter. Or cookies.

I'm just happy I got it fixed now before it could ruin the pizza-and-wine night that I have scheduled for Monday. I couldn't allow my oven to ruin Laurie's buffalo wing pizza, now could I?

Tell Me, Was This Necessary?

2011-09-30T12:09:00.000-04:00

I knew there was great potential for weirdness yesterday. What gave me the first clue? When I opened a package of maxi pads and was greeted with the label "Thermo Control" on the product.

Call me an idiot, but...what? Are these people frigging serious? We have to have thermo-regulating maxi pads? Or is this just an excuse to charge more money for a necessary product? I'm imagining a bunch of guys in a meeting at corporate headquarters brainstorming ways to convince women to pay more for maxi pads. Suddenly the dorky guy wearing the suspenders and huge Drew Carey-style glasses raises his hand and says "I know! Let's call them "thermo control!"

Honestly, I don't notice a damn bit of difference in the product, so I question if they aren't just trying to make us think they made changes, although they really didn't.

Another Example of Famous Last Words

2011-09-13T20:49:00.000-04:00

My father was nice enough to help me out by working on my new fence last Sunday. I have to admit, the fence looks really nice. Matt and his father built the fence panels out of pickets found in Matt's father's junkyard (oh relax, it's cedar, they will probably last longer than the mobile home the fence will, eventually, surround). It would have been better had they put the pickets facing towards the house rather than away, since there is no one behind my house to enjoy my attractive fence. There was no reason NOT to make the pretty side face the house. But still. It's a nice fence. And it keeps morons out of at least the back of my yard.

The problem started when I realized that I forgot to call the "call before you dig" number to locate buried power lines. I told my father that it was fine with me if they just wanted to go purchase supplies and maybe map out the fence a little bit better and not actually start digging post holes since we weren't, at that time, exactly sure where the power lines were located. My father then announced that "you can't cut a power line with a post hole digger."

Turns out you CAN cut the cable TV line in two different places with a post hole digger, though. I think it was an old cable, but I have no real basis for this assumption other than none of my stupid neighbors have egged my house yet. And Time Warner wasn't very concerned when the guys reported the unfortunate incident. So I guess it was okay, and everyone will just get over it.

In other news, I have decided that I'm going to have to toss a coin to help me decide which will make a better epitaph for my father. I could use the long standing "you go in and turn" phrase (don't ask, it's a long story) or I could decide "you can't cut a power line with a post hole digger" is the better choice. I guess it depends on if he manages to complete the fence without chopping off any more cable TV cables or hitting any power lines.

Tomorrow, I'm calling the "call before you dig" hot line. Just in case.

Labor Day And Other Stuff

2011-09-05T13:02:00.003-04:00

It's Labor Day. I have to admit that makes me happy. It means all the stupid idiot kids in my neighborhood will be going back to school and thus not walking in my yard and making me feel like beating these kids and their parents with a board full of nails. Or possibly a sock full of quarters. What would make me extremely happy? If they went to school all year. Of course the teachers would likely whine about this because then THEY would not get a 3 month undeserved vacation every summer either.

I finally decided that in order to preserve my peace of mind and prevent the aforementioned whacking of random individuals with boards full of nails, I need a fence around my yard. The fence will be expensive, but most likely cheaper than bail when I finally do snap and beat the crap out of a random trespasser (although if you know anything more disturbing than having people in your yard watching you go about your business in what should be the privacy of your own home, please share). Because I'm not very nice and have routinely yelled at and threatened all trespassers with everything from prosecution to disembowelment, this will most likely make random trespassers feel more secure as well. So maybe they will leave my fence alone instead of trying to break it to hell. Did I mention that anyone caught messing with my fence will be punished? I think I left that part out.

As if I didn't have enough stress with idiots in my yard and having to spend a lot of money on a fence, Matt is out of work. I told him he needs to find a job pronto because Stewart's can't make enough Chocolate Trifecta ice cream to reduce my stress levels if we run out of money and can't pay the bills. My recent attempt to trick my employers into giving me more hours didn't work out the way I had it planned (which means they had some random person covering my department on the day I hoped to get some extra hours). I guess I should go back to nagging everyone I know about if they have anyone who needs someone to complete odd jobs this fall. I may not have the time what with angling for extra hours at my job, but Matt should have plenty of spare time in between putting in job applications.

And my final source of stress is that my college classes start up again next week. I am excited about this because I have only 4 semesters left before my bachelor's degree. I am dreading this because I took the summer off and have become even lazier than before. While I have hopes of straight A's for the term, it all depends on if I can ingest enough caffeine to keep me going for the next 15 weeks. Guess we will see.

Oh and did I mention that Christmas is 15 weeks from now?

What Bugs Me About WoW

2011-08-25T21:40:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have played World of Warcraft a lot lately. I have played enough that I am starting to notice the obnoxious behavior of many other people who play the game.

Yesterday some guy wanted to duel with my newest character (Alliance, for those of you who play). At the time, my character was only level 8 while the would-be challenger was level 22. I didn't mind being challenged, but once I declined, please stop asking. Because of the fervor with which this player pursued dueling with my character, I have to believe he was afraid of losing the fight with a player near his own level.

In another case of I-wish-they-would-stop were all the people who invited me to join their guilds. It's very nice to be asked (especially after a childhood of being picked last for every team in gym class) but once I decline, please stop asking! I am not interested in joining a guild of people that I do not know. Matt has a Horde guild and his brother has an Alliance guild. I am pleased to be a member of these guilds because it will prevent random players who do not know me (and how bad I really am as a player - I mean, I got my mage killed five times just today) from harassing me to join their guild.

Otherwise, I like the community online with WoW. Many players are willing to help others with directions or by jumping into the battle in time to prevent my untimely death from being jumped from behind while dealing with the enemy in front of me. I did already mention that I am not that great of a player, didn't I?

Now if the game would stop trying to take over my life, I would be all set.

Where Did The Time Go?

2011-08-23T21:40:00.000-04:00

I wish I had a better excuse for not blogging lately. I would like to say I have been holed up writing what is sure to be a best selling novel, or that I was learning how to operate my (aunt's) sewing machine. Or that I was really busy with school work. Even that I decided to take a month long meditation retreat.

The truth is that I have been busy playing World of Warcraft. I admit it. I'm addicted. Some day I will have to figure out the parental controls for the game so I can limit the length of time that I play. Otherwise I shudder to think what will happen in a couple weeks when I have to start putting most of my time into school work again.

Matt and one of his brothers have both played WoW for quite some time. Strangely, neither one bothered to mention to me that the game is not only highly addictive but that it is a time warp. You sit down with the laptop thinking you are just going to play for a few minutes but the next thing you know it's 2 AM and you know damn well that you are going to be tired at work the next day. But instead of immediately shutting the game down, you start thinking, well, I guess I'll just finish this quest and turn it in and then I will log off.

Famous last words.

Anyway, I know I need to make sure the game doesn't take over my life. I did hear about a few people who got completely carried away with the game to the point of losing jobs and spouses. I admit that I love gaming and I am getting really into playing WoW, but I can't see missing work to keep playing the game. And since I'm starting to hate my job, that's saying something.

As I told Matt when he said he thought he had been playing WoW too much lately - there is nothing wrong with playing video games. It's just a matter of balancing the time spent absorbed in a game with all the other things there are in the world. When work, personal hygiene and walking the dog go by the wayside for the sake of a game, it's time to seek help.

Now, just to prove that WoW hasn't completely taken over my life, I am going to do some housework before I go to bed early for a change.

Packing It ALL

2011-07-31T22:29:00.000-04:00

I recently read an article that discussed the merits of packing lightly for a vacation. I depart tomorrow on a 3 day, 2 night getaway with Matt to celebrate our first full year of dating and to celebrate Matt's birthday. We are going back to Gloucester, Massachusetts where we went on our road trip last fall, where I learned to always pack an umbrella and sunscreen when going on any road trip. And a change of shoes can't hurt. And I like to have extra socks. And a supply of pain pills in case my back acts up from all the time spent in the car. And a larger-than-travel-sized tube of Curel lotion because my hands get so dry. And a spare shirt since we are going out for Italian food (at Cafe Luigi in Bedford, MA, a place we discovered on our last road trip. If you are ever in Bedford, I strongly suggest eating there! Website here) and we all know that eating Italian food may result in red sauce on a shirt. Well, at least in my world.

So you may think I'm over packing, but everything fit easily in my 20 inch upright wheeled carry on bag (part of the five piece luggage set purchased last year on Black Friday for a super discount). I admit to also having a tote bag containing both cameras (mine and my mother's), our directions, a supply of tourist brochures gathered on our last trip, and that aforementioned sunscreen. And bug spray. And maybe a pack of tissues. And a granola bar or two.

We are also taking our awesome picnic bag purchased last year from Uncommon Goods (website here) and a cooler. Matt, the show-off, managed to pack in a 15 inch carry on duffle. Then again, he's a guy and I'm pretty sure he doesn't care if he wears the same pair of shorts for three days. It's also possible that since he doesn't actually ever fold his clothes, preferring to just crumple them to the desired size, his clothes may take up less space than mine. Add in the fact that he has travelled much more than I and is also much lower maintenance. But I'm still sort of mad at him for using a bag so much smaller than mine.

The bottom line here is that I understand the concept of packing light but I seem to be unable to actually put this idea into practice. Some day when I actually travel somewhere by air I'm sure I will have to pay unreasonable fees for all the crap I just couldn't live without. Oh well. If I were less of a pain in the ass, I wouldn't be me (or possible I would be me, only heavily medicated).

Summer Vacation

2011-07-29T11:29:00.000-04:00

I have mixed feeling about summer vacation. It's a phrase with multiple meanings. It means that time between the spring and fall school terms. It means (if you're lucky or really determined) taking a trip to somewhere really interesting and/or fun. And it also means the disrespectful little bastards (high school kids) are out of school and once again cutting across my lawn.

I admit that I am thoroughly enjoying my vacation from classes. I am also happily planning a trip with Matt for next week. And while having high school kids on my lawn does piss me off, I do enjoy thinking of ways to make their passage through the side yard quite unpleasant.

I read something on Yahoo News a few days ago about places that are banning kids. I think this was mostly referring to young children who haven't yet learned control (probably because of their parents being complete and total jackasses who think their kids can do WHATEVER they want). Yeah, I hate listening to screaming kids, but for the most part, it's the parents who piss me off. I mean, you know if your kid is capable of acting appropriately in a restaurant (By "acting appropriately" I mean "not screaming." I can even handle kids running around as long as they aren't tripping waitresses or climbing on my table). That being said, I can make a case for not allowing high-school age kids to go to the mall or basically to be left home alone.

I work in retail and I have news for parents of teenagers: IF YOUR KID IS ACTING LIKE A JACKASS, WE WILL CALL SECURITY AND HAVE THEM ESCORTED OUT. Also, IF YOUR KID IS STEALING, WE WILL HAVE THEM ARRESTED. We are not free daycare for idiot teenagers that you don't trust enough to leave home alone. Also, why would you want to leave your teenager at the mall? You do realize that you are setting them up for later money problems because they think they can buy whatever they want, the second that they want it - regardless of if they really can afford it.

I also get turned off by teenagers in restaurants acting like jackasses. I don't want to listen to their cell phone conversation, especially if it involves discussion of bong hits or (especially) getting to third base with their boyfriend or girlfriend. I definitely don't want to hear the music they listen to on their cell phones or mp3 players. The point of that type of music-playing device is so you can listen to music without annoying me - so if I can hear it, turn it the hell down.

If teenagers learn proper adult behavior, I am happy to have them in my store or to see them in a restaurant. Regardless, I still want them to stay off my lawn.

Now I just have to hope that I will not have to deal with too many stupid teenagers on my vacation next week. Although since part of my vacation plans include a whale watch, I suppose I could just shove them overboard when we get out into the Atlantic.

THE Video Man

2011-07-12T11:09:00.000-04:00

The unthinkable happened on Thursday, July 7. We lost Video Man after another bout with colic that put him into shock and (we think) the beginning of heart failure. He was 25 - and as my father insensitively noted later "that's a pretty good life for a horse." (Yes, I know he meant well but it was one of the most insensitive things he could have said at the time.)

I would have chosen for Manny to live an even longer life. With the option, I would have preferred for him to die peacefully in his sleep. I wasn't there for him when he passed and I'm conflicted about that. It was not an easy passing so I'm relieved that I didn't see it, but still firmly believe I should have been there with him. But even without me there to say goodbye and tell him how much I love him for one final time, he knew he was loved and that he will live on in my heart forever.

I had to take Manny's barn buddy MO to the other pasture while Manny was being placed in his final resting place but on the way, MO led me over to were Manny lay in his stall so he could touch him with his nose and smell him and assure himself that Manny was already crossing over the bridge to his next life where he will be a colt again and enjoy vast fields of clover and be with old friends - like Sun Dance, who passed two years ago, and his previous owners' beagle, Impish, who used to hang out in the barn and beg for cat food.

The blog title comes from Manny's harness racing days. One of his previous owners came to visit him and told us that Manny always liked to come from behind and pass everyone. Manny wore earplugs when he raced and his former owner told us that popping Manny's earplugs was like stomping on the gas pedal. The announcer at Yonkers used to say "and coming from behind is THE Video Man." His former owner also told us that horses come and go but there was only one Video Man. I completely agree. I have loved and will love other horses but none have or will hold as much of my heart as my Video Man - or Mannykins, as he was nicknamed by my friend Laurie.

Some day I'll see my Video Man again. When my time comes, I know I won't want to go to any heaven where my best friends are not welcome. It will be good to see him again. Until then, I know he will be happy and safe. I miss him.

Creating Bad Karma

2011-07-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Some times I can't help but create my own bad karma. For example, last weekend I amused myself by picking on my mother about her scheduled colonoscopy. Don't get me wrong - my grandmother died because of colon cancer, so it's not the cancer screening that I find amusing. It's just funny because it's an anal probe. And what's funnier than an anal probe? The first South Park episode ever was about Cartman getting an anal probe. So it's definitely funny - Matt and Trey (South Park creators) said so.

And what the hell. If you can't find humor in serious situations you have more problems that the possibility of rectal polyps.

Last Friday I emailed my mother to harass her about how much fun it was to prep for the procedure. After a day when her meals consisted of nothing but broth, Jello and laxatives, asking her how the shitting was going WAS funny. At least for me. And I do seem to recall that she called me an asshole at least once, thus sticking with the theme.

I know that I have created a situation that is just begging to come back and bite me on the ass (pun intended). I'm sure my mother is going to find it funny as hell when I have health insurance one day in the future and schedule hemorrhoid surgery. This also proves that heredity played a strong role in making me the smart ass (again, pun intended) that I am today.

(Most importantly, the procedure went well and my mother is perfectly healthy.)

An Ode To My Oven

2011-06-23T13:43:00.000-04:00

A few months ago I discovered that my oven wasn't working properly. So of course I called the manufacturer, believing (incorrectly as it turns out) that they might be able to direct me to a LOCAL individual or company that could diagnose and repair what ails my oven. This was not the case, and I have spent a few months composing scathing hate mail to Frigidaire about the uselessness of their toll free number as well as the annoyance of having a 7 year old appliance stop working.

That being said, the oven did actually still work but the temperature setting was no longer accurate. My mother solved this problem for me with the purchase of an oven thermometer. I discovered that when the oven control was set at 350 degrees, the oven was only heating to 300 degrees, but when set at 375, the oven was heating to 350 degrees. Confusing - and no wonder the last thing I tried to bake was simultaneously burned and undercooked.

I celebrated the return of my oven to usefulness by baking a pie (shh - don't tell my new healthy lifestyle plan about this). Now I'm contemplating what to bake next. Bread? Muffins? A casserole? Some of each? Suddenly I'm delighted that my dinner options have expanded beyond what can be cooked on the stove top, in the microwave or in the toaster oven. Awesome.

But I'm still going to compose hate mail to Frigidaire. Just because of the annoyance factor.

Less Superhuman, More Stupid Human Tricks

2011-06-21T16:01:00.000-04:00

Matt found some episodes of Stan Lee's Superhumans on Netflix. For the most part, I was not impressed. Honestly? Why the hell do people even get these ideas? I mean, who the hell cares if you can withstand being run over by a truck? And who the hell thought up this idea in the first place?

I have to say that most of these are more like the stupid human tricks from Letterman. I mean, who wants to be run over by a truck? Stupid people, that's who.

One thing that I did enjoy about Superhumans is that it did confirm my suspicions that the world is becoming dumber. I thought reality TV was the true low point, but even I have to admit that some of the dumb shit people do has to be a result of the decline in the gene pool all over. To say it another way? The gene pool really needs a little chlorine.

It also occurred to me that many of these people will win a Darwin Award for dying in a supremely stupid manner when one of their dumb ass stunts goes awry. (To learn more about the Darwin Awards, click here to visit the Darwin Awards website.) Some day when I have a lot of time, I will cross-reference the list of ~~morons~~ people who have appeared on Superhumans who then went on to expire in an appropriately dumb ass manner.

Another Stupid Neighbor

2011-06-19T19:24:00.000-04:00

I like all my neighbors but they do annoy the living shit out of me from time to time. The neighbor to the right as you face my house from the street is a sweet older lady. The neighbor directly across from her is a bit younger than she is but still more than old enough to be my mother. Sadly, when the across-the-street neighbor goes to visit my next-door neighbor she stands facing my house.

No problem there, right? Well, sadly, I have a triple window in my living room that this neighbor is staring into when she stands at the door of my other neighbor's house.

Even worse is when I'm doing something other than sitting at my computer, like, say, cleaning the house (yeah, as if this happens) and the across-the-street neighbor is staring into my window, watching every move I make.

Creepy, right?

After a few years of this, my irritation level has steadily increased. Not too long ago I was watering my house plants, which of course live in front of the triple window as it gets the most light. The across-the-street neighbor was knocking on my next-door neighbor's door and staring into my window in a way that was entirely too invasive for my comfort level. I had only one idea of how to handle this.

I turned my back, dropped my pants and mooned my neighbor.

Shameful.

Postscript: The really scary part is that she still speaks to me, is nice to me, and has never mentioned the mooning incident. She also doesn't look in my living room window anymore. I suppose she could have incorrectly believed that it was an accident.

Wash Your Hands...After Fixing Your Hair

2011-06-14T07:29:00.004-04:00

I have noticed something lately that truly disturbs me. When I use the public restroom at work, I notice a number of people exiting the stalls to stand in front of the sink and fix their hair BEFORE washing their hands. Gross.

Wouldn't you want to wash your hands as soon as you leave the stall and prior to touching your head? You know, just in case you got something on your fingers.

I'll bet these are the very same people who insist on opening the bathroom door with a paper towel because of the people who (they think) are leaving the bathroom without washing their hands. They don't want to get any germs from a door handle, probably flush with their foot to avoid germs from toilet spray (and also to break the flush on the public toilet, but they don't care about that), but they don't mind wiping their hands on their hair after using the facilities.

I don't get this at all. Someone please explain.

Making Changes

2011-06-13T19:29:00.001-04:00

(I feel I should apologize for two non-sarcastic, serious posts in a row. That being said, I will shortly schedule a post for tomorrow about odd bathroom behavior, which is really more my style than talking about health and fitness.)

Another Monday, weigh in day at my house. So far I am encouraged by seeing lower numbers when I get on the scales. This week showed another two pound loss. That means I'm down 5 pounds total and 4 since I started to use the SparkPeople website two weeks ago.

I am resisting the impulse to break out the tape measure. I know I am smaller because my pants fit better (actually, the waistband is now loose enough on my loosest fitting pants that I am planning to alter them to make them fit better). I want to wait a full four weeks before measuring myself just in case I'm wrong.

That being said, I'm sure I'm not wrong.

I have been doing well with choosing healthier foods. Today was the only day in about a month that I have eaten fast food (KFC - not the healthiest choice but also not the worst possible choice). Also, I have almost entirely stopped drinking soda. I mostly drink water with a slice of lemon.

This week I want to focus on getting more exercise, which is a challenge for me. I have trouble getting up in the morning (mostly because I can't get to bed before midnight) so getting up early to exercise is probably not going to happen. I could exercise after work, and most days I plan to, but my feet and legs are so sore from standing all day that I don't want to. I have been doing yoga which is non impact but this week I want to branch out into strength training. I used to love lifting weights and I need to get back into that.

Right now I'm following a sort of nondiet. I'm not depriving myself of anything but I am trying to pay more attention to portion sizes and calories. Surprisingly, a pepperoni Lean Pockets can satisfy a pizza craving. Until just now when I reminded myself of how I have been craving pizza.

The Second Weigh In

2011-06-06T14:53:00.000-04:00

Remember how I said I was starting a new quest for fitness? I actually did it. That's impressive, since I usually intend to do a lot of things that I don't actually do. Prepare yourself - this post isn't quite up to my usual level of sarcasm.

Today marks the beginning of my second week using the SparkPeople website. The good news is that I love the site. Everyone is friendly and helpful - and all the members inspire me to do the best that I can. The bad news? Today I had to brave the scale again.

Here is the back story: I located the SparkPeople website last week through a Google search for "free diet websites" after learning just exactly how much Weight Watchers costs! I looked around, and the more I looked the more I liked what I saw. I love that the SparkPeople site is free. I also liked the variety and ease of use of all the trackers on the site. It means no more overfilled 3-ring binders for me! I can keep everything online.

I have also really liked the people I have encountered on SparkPeople. I'll admit the ones who talk about exercising for 3 hours each day put me off. I'm here to make healthy choices and lose weight. I'm not here to become an athlete. Sometimes it's hard to make my modest post that my goal for this week is to start doing yoga again when the person who posted just before me has stated that she wants to use her elliptical machine for half an hour every day, plus strength training 3 days plus walking plus who knows what.

Anyway, I did manage to brave the scale this morning, though it took me a while to work up the courage. I was pretty sure that I had lost weight this week because my cheekbones seemed more defined and I was right. Let me write that again: I WAS RIGHT. I lost 2 pounds. As happy as that makes me, it could be 20 pounds. Or 50.

I've heard that nothing motivated like success and I guess that's true. Today has already been a double workout day (a walk with my dog and 20 minutes of yoga). Had the scale not shown a loss, I'm not sure that I would have been motivated to get that much exercise today

I Don't Want To Be That Person

2011-05-30T21:49:00.000-04:00

I went out to dinner with Matt on Wednesday. We tried a new restaurant that we both really liked. It was quiet (except for the morons in the next booth, click here for more information), conveniently located, the prices were reasonable, and the food was good. The problem? When the hostess seated us, I couldn't fit into the booth that she initially brought us to.

The booth was rather small (you can ask Matt if you don't believe me). Still, I don't want to be the person who has to request a table because I can't fit at the booth. (I also want to lose enough weight to go on a zip line without having my size questioned, but that's a different story). Anyway, this happened close on the heels of the day that I summoned my courage and stepped on the bathroom scale for the first time in a long time. To say that I didn't like the number that I saw is an understatement.

Having been plus size for most of my adult life, I get my share of unsolicited diet advice. I know there are a lot of morons out there who think I'm too stupid to know that pizza and beer are bad for me. And yes, a few less fast-food-centric meals might have prevented the number on the scale from being quite so scary, but all that is a sunk cost. In the accounting world, a sunk cost is the price I have already paid, and it is therefore irrelevant to the current project. This project? Becoming less fat. What I did or didn't do before no longer matters. The only important behaviors are the ones from now on.

I hate the word diet and mostly refuse to use it. I have been eating a lot of vegetables, salads, fruits, and high fiber - high protein cereal this week. I have chosen smaller portions. I haven't braved the scale yet to see the improvement, but I know something good must have happened. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe Wednesday. Doesn't matter.

We have probably all see this kind of sight. A couple months ago, my aunt and I were enjoying some Chinese food at a buffet restaurant and saw this woman. She probably weighed close to 500 pounds. When I saw her first she was carrying a plate that was practically overflowing with mozzarella sticks and chicken wings. Now, obviously I don't know what caused her weight issue. I'm really not trying to make fun of her, but after the incident with the restaurant booth, I know I could turn into that person. And I don't want to.

Now, to come up with a more structured plan to help me not become that person.

The Adventures of Terry, Kay, and Frank

2011-05-25T22:35:00.000-04:00

I have no idea who the hell Terry, Kay and Frank are, but thanks to some dumb ass in a restaurant I now know entirely too much about their lives.

Matt and I decided to go out for dinner tonight in direct violation of Money Rule #4 - save money by dining out less. After a humiliating experience which I will save for tomorrow's post, the hostess seated Matt and I near the windows in the center booth on the other side of the restaurant. This was great for slightly longer than it took our waitress to take our drink order (sodas, like usual). Then the hostess seated an older guy in the booth behind where Matt was sitting.

This guy proceeded to pull out his cell phone and make several calls. This wouldn't have bothered me except he did so at the top of his lungs. And all he did was bitch at people. First he called some guy and yelled at him for being three days late and how the guy had promised never to do that again and it was always the same old story and he was tired of it and blah blah blah. I tried to stop listening out of self defense because this guy was completely raping my ears but it was impossible.

The next calls he made were apparently to his dining companion berating her for being late and she's always late. After she arrived at the restaurant, they had an argument about her being late and how he told her 7 PM and it was almost 7:30. The waitress broke up their argument by noting that it was only 7:19. Then the guy proceeded to tell the waitress about how he had an exhibit at the library (what the hell ever that was about, I'm not completely sure) and that she should go see it and he would get her the invitation that he had in his car.

Our dinners were served and the food was great. However, the couple behind Matt proceeded to launch into a long winded conversation about Terry, who had visited the woman today and Terry's issues with her parents, Kay and Frank. Apparently Terry has been tasked with caring for her father over the winter because he and Kay were about to kill each other. While they apparently aren't capable of caring for themselves, Kay is not willing to move into an assisted living. According to the loud talking restaurant lady, money was no object and Frank was completely willing to move into an assisted living facility but Kay was having no part of it. Terry reported to loud talking restaurant lady that Kay was given medication by her doctor to help her calm down (a good thing, because she sounds like a bit of a headcase - loud talking restaurant lady called Kay "willful"). Kay apparently refused to take the medicine saying it was poison and she wouldn't take poison. Yeah, and maybe they should add a little Haldol to her prescription list.

Anyway, hearing lots about people that I don't know is a truly excellent occurrence right on the heels of my decision to write more frequently about the day's events. Encounters with such entertaining idiots are rare. They should be treasured. And admit it - it was awesome to hear about Terry, Kay and Frank.

The Death Toll - Surprisingly Low

2011-05-24T19:54:00.000-04:00

Although humans seem to have made it through the Rapture unscathed, my house plants apparently decided it was a good excuse to commit suicide.

While checking my plants, I noticed that one of my beloved African Violets seemed to be dying. On closer inspection, the whole plant seemed to be rotten. I have never had that happen to one of my African Violets before and would prefer that it never happen again. I love my house plants and the African Violets are my favorites. That would explain why I had 10 and now have 9 of them.

Although my house plants are suicidal, my garden is doing well. Maybe it's because of the insane amount of rain we have gotten so far this spring, but my flowers look great. Well, my bleeding heart plants are smaller than usual, but it's damn hard to apply Miracle Grow when it won't stop raining.

My father helped me out by mowing the lawn last Sunday. The amazing thing is that he did not murder any of my flowers. He did mow down a patch of tulips, but he had permission to do that since they were finished for the season anyway. Unlike last year when he annihilated my poor spirea (which was close to 18 inches tall at the time), all my flowers and flowering shrubs seem to have survived his inattentive mowing.

Okay, I know perfectly well it's not that he isn't paying attention to where he is mowing and that he really can't tell a flower from a weed from ground cover plantings from shrubs. He's just determined not to learn anything about flowers. While I do appreciate that my father will take the time to help me out by mowing the lawn, I appreciate it less every time he runs over one of my flowers.

Girl Dates

2011-05-23T20:05:00.000-04:00

I have been ducking a friend's repeated invites to go to her house and hang out. Not that I don't love my friend, it's just that severe case of ass-a-dragging that's been plaguing me lately. I come home and would prefer to sit in front of my computer in an attempt to earn some money (and if anyone knows of good sites to make money online that are not a scam and do not require an initial investment, please let me know) rather than drag my ass back out the door and socialize.

It's not that I don't like to socialize, it's just that half the time I don't feel like it. So my friend has issued an ultimatum: we have a girl date this Friday or she's kicking me in the ass. I freely admit to needing a kick in the ass about so many different things, but maybe I won't require it to go out to lunch with a friend.

Another friend gave Matt and I a restaurant gift certificate for Christmas that we haven't used (and have no plans to since we really didn't like the restaurant). So since I will have to keep this girl date whether I want to or not, why not use the gift certificate? Not only will that mean we get to hang out but we get to do so in a classy restaurant. And that could be very entertaining because we are better suited to the food court in the mall than a nice restaurant.

So, if we have our usual uncouth conversation while in this restaurant, we should be able to thoroughly piss off some of the other patrons, which I will enjoy. I noticed with my one experience with this restaurant that the snooty people seem to gather there. Worst case scenario? We get kicked out and asked not to return. And that's fine with me.

The Project Line-up

2011-05-15T21:53:00.000-04:00

Matt and I had the great idea to transform the spare room into project central. This is great because it gives me a place where I can be as disorganized as I want and work on as many project as I want at one time (okay, I am limited to what my project table will actually hold). I don't have to worry about Matt deciding to clean up my work space and probably misplacing at least three or four crucial components to the project.

And then he started organizing my spare room.

I use the term organizing loosely. While Matt does pick things up and put them away, putting them in the correct place is not likely to happen. Just because there is a box on the floor and 4 items that will fit in the box, that does not mean these items actually belong in the box. I keep telling him that as much as I would like to be more organized, putting stuff away in completely the wrong spot does not decrease my stress level. As a matter of fact, it makes things even worse because I know I didn't move something and yet I can't find it.

I like to have a large number of projects in process at any given time. Right now I have some flower pots that I am painting on the kitchen counter. I have some magazine clippings with recipes that I need to copy onto index cards and file in my recipe box. I have an afghan that is finished except for making and attaching the fringe (not difficult, just time consuming). Plus, I have all the materials for my quilting project ready to go, including a sewing machine that I borrowed for just this occasion. And lest I forget, the basket full of ripped flannel pajama pants and old flannel nightgowns to be cut into strips and used to make a braided rug.

If I don't have a number of projects lined up and ready to go, I start to feel like I have nothing to do. There are people who don't understand the joy of having at least four projects in process at any given time and Matt is one of those people. He likes to start a project and work straight through until the project is completed. I like to start a project, work on it for a while, then work on something else, then start something new, then go back to the second project, then go back to the first project, then start another new project... It's not that I don't finish anything, it's just that my project completion schedule is a bit different from Matt's.

This is also why I am amazed when Matt and I work on a project together and actually manage to complete it. We just work in different ways. That's why it's best for all concerned if Matt just leaves the spare room to me and my projects. He won't have to worry about the disorganization and I won't have to worry about him putting away important components to my projects.

Selling Textbooks

2011-05-08T17:48:00.000-04:00

I decided not to take classes this summer after six straight semesters, with only a couple weeks in between for a break. As much as I want to complete my degree and thus be eligible for better jobs that much sooner, I need a break for the sake of my mental health, especially as my mental health was never perfect to begin with (just think of some of my relatives and you will get the complete picture...heredity sucks).

Since I started taking classes in spring of 2009, I have accumulated quite a pile of text books that I will most likely never need again. And if I do, I am newly acquainted with the library at U Albany and can probably find the gist of what I need somewhere in the stacks. For the past few semesters, a box has sat beside my computer desk, slowing filling up with textbooks. Finally, I have become sick of this box not only being in the way but being the landing place for all sorts of stuff that doesn't belong such as Wii controllers, the folder containing the information on Matt's auto loan from our bank, PS3 controllers, notebooks, novels, calculators, my 2009 tax return, a few of Matt's pay stubs, and sometimes the dog.

I took the giant leap of going on Amazon.com to participate in their text book buyback program. I am sending 18 textbooks to Amazon for the sum of $366. Which if you don't have a calculator handy is an average of about $20 per text book. Disgusting considering that all of these books are in perfect condition (I'm sort of a fanatic about that - I don't dog ear pages or write in the margins - just the thought makes a part of my soul die. What can I say? I love books). I consider the astronomical prices for textbooks and it makes me almost sick. I'm not mad at Amazon (because they buy back books that no one else will take and also pay the best prices), but I'm a tad pissed off at the textbook companies. They sell us books that we HAVE to have for ridiculous prices then we can expect to get less than a third of the price of the book back at the end of the semester - best case scenario - when we want to use any buy back program to get rid of books we no longer need. Talk about a scam.

But I will be happy when I receive my Amazon.com gift certificate and can use it to buy all sorts of stuff that I don't need. Actually, the plan is to use a portion to purchase a new air conditioner and then I will have to ask Matt how he feels about investing in the Wii Fit, although we will have to rearrange the living room yet again to be able to use it. And I can probably manage to buy a little something for myself as well. Like maybe a storage unit for my shoes...

Another Lightbulb Moment

2011-05-04T21:24:00.001-04:00

I knew it had been quite a while since I had published a post on my blog. I didn't know that the last date was April 17. Hmm. Guess I might have been slacking off more than I realized.

In my defense, I have completed a number of projects since that time. I finished all my final projects and assignments - on time no less - for all of my spring classes. I decided to take up quilting. I started scrapbooking the pictures from when Matt and I went on vacation last September. I also decided to start (again) selling the best candles ever (visit that website here - and be sure to enter the drawing for a free candle while you are there.)

That all being said, now that I'm back from blog-cation I expect I will find numerous other reasons to slack off and not post all the stupid things that caused me to name this blog Shallow Mind, Deep Thoughts in the first place!

Spring Flowers

2011-04-17T23:05:00.000-04:00

I decided to give some of my flowers a head start and started the seeds inside this year. I have 13 packs of flowers so far, and when I start the three different types of morning glory seeds that I have, I will have 16 packs.

Planting the seeds was relaxing. Grab the 6 pack of plastic plant starter cells saved from plants purchased last year. Dump the potting mix into the pack. Tamp the potting mix lightly with my fingers. Spread seeds on soil. Add more potting mix, tamp again. Take to sink and mist with water until soil is damp. Tape the portion of the seed envelope with the name to the pack and place on the shelf that Matt put together for me. (An interesting look into the dynamics of our household: he put the shelf together and I filled it with stuff.)

I planted the seeds Wednesday night. Thursday I watered the seeds again. They are on a shelf in the living room so the seeds got to listen to music last night when I put a CD on. I also regularly tell my plants how pretty they are. I told the seeds what pretty flowers they will be.

Now I can just compulsively check on the packs to see if any of the plants are going yet. I know perfectly well that they take more than 2 days to germinate, but that won't stop me from looking. And hoping. And when a plant does sprout, I'm sure I will praise it and tell it how pretty it will be. I might be nuts, but I can grow some damn nice flowers.

Last night the alyssum had sprouted! It was very exciting to see tiny little plants starting to peek out of the soil. Today I watered them again, told the sprouts how big they were getting and they got to listen to some more music as I was listening to CDs while doing homework. Tomorrow, I will take pictures of my tiny little plants to post on my other blog (visit here).

Almost Like Being Mean

2011-04-09T15:47:00.000-04:00

A few days ago my back was bothering me. I took a pain pill and a muscle relaxer before going to bed (don’t worry; the doctor approved taking both at the same time). I actually went to bed early because the muscle relaxer knocked me out.

Matt stayed up for a while, playing the stupid game on PS3 (sadly, the Wii has not yet beaten up the PS3 but I still have hope that this will happen). Normally, if Matt comes into the bedroom or even the bathroom while I am sleeping, I will wake up (courtesy of being a light sleeper and having floors that squeak). Thanks to the muscle relaxer and the pain pill I had no idea that Matt was walking around the house with a flashlight so he wouldn’t have to turn the light on and wake me up. Chances are that he could have shined the light from that flashlight right on my face and I wouldn’t have known it, but he didn’t know this at the time.

Matt tried to come to bed sometime in the wee hours of the morning. According to him, I was asleep in the exact center of our full size bed with my head on his pillow. He claims I was also snoring, which I probably was. So Matt ended up spending the night on the couch. I felt bad. It was almost like I was being mean to him and making him sleep on the couch. I felt really bad when I got up the following morning and went to the kitchen to fix something for breakfast and woke Matt up by walking from cabinets to refrigerator to toaster to table on the squeaky floor.

To my credit, I did tell him that he should go sleep in the bed. He just rolled over on the couch (quite a feat for a man who is well over 6 feet tall) and said he was fine. I didn’t find out until later that he slept on the couch because of my bed and pillow hogging behavior.

I guess this means I have officially won the Blanket Wars (original post here)! The war against Matt, anyway. I'm pretty sure the dog is still winning her part of the Blanket War (Blanket Wars Part Two post here).

Feeling Old

2011-04-07T19:46:00.000-04:00

I am in the process of writing a very important term paper that is due on Sunday. I didn't find all the sources that I need in the local library so I decided to visit the library at U Albany. In spite of the college being 30 miles out of my way, I figured it would be worth the trip to write a good term paper with proper sources.

Naturally, the visitor parking lot closest the the library was closed due to construction so I had to drive around campus looking for another visitor lot. Although there were acres upon acres of student and faculty/staff parking, there are apparently only two small visitor lots on campus. I did find a place to park but it was quite a distance from University Library. That would have been okay except I was hauling Matt's laptop computer in a case and was planning to check out several reference books to use at home. Fortunately, my aunt went with me on this excursion so she could help me carry some of my books back to the car.

I took my college ID card with me but left my purse - which of course contained my wallet, which contained my driver's license - in the car a quarter mile away from the library. When I learned that I needed another form of ID in order to borrow books from University Library, I had to walk back to the car (without the computer this time but also without my sunglasses) then walk back to the library.

I had to walk through what the college calls the Academic Podium to and from the library. It's a village square of sorts for the students, many of whom were taking advantage of the nice weather today to spend a little time in the quad getting a little sun while studying. The library was also a popular place in spite of the nice weather - I'm sure I'm not the only person with a term paper due this week.

What struck me most is how young all the students appeared. I realize I have hit the back end of my twenties, but I didn't think I would look at "traditional" college students and think, holy shit they are young. Then I wonder if I ever looked as young as some of the students I saw today. I was hoping to at least make it to thirty before everyone around me started looking younger than they really are, but that, apparently, was not to be.

It's official. I feel old.

Daisy, Weapon of Mass Destruction

2011-04-06T18:10:00.000-04:00

Sure she's cute, but Daisy (photo here) is a house wrecker. I'm sure if we could only convince her to use her destructive powers for good instead of to ruin perfectly good stuff (like my Bluetooth headset and the new Hepa filter for my vacuum), she could have a career as a secret agent or something.
I wish I could remember all the things Daisy has destroyed so I could list them all here, but here's what I remember:

Bluetooth headset (had for 4 days)
Hepa filter for vacuum (had for a couple hours)
At least three pairs of flip flops
A couple African Violets
Pens and pencils - lots of both
Plastic dishes that were left on the kitchen table

Daisy was not successful in destroying but left teeth marks on:

A pair of flats
My old cell phone
Several books
A credit card

With her amazing destructive talent and varied appetite, she could definitely work for the government. Plus, she's disarmingly cute, so no one would ever suspect. She also suffers from a raging case of doggy attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which also qualifies her to work in government. She tends to lose focus part way through tasks, which definitely reminds me of our current administration.

Then again, she's too good natured to work in government so I take it all back.

Still Thinking About Spring

2011-04-03T12:35:00.000-04:00

I may have mentioned a couple (hundred) times that I am so ready for spring. What I may not have mentioned is how difficult nice weather makes it to stay inside and accomplish anything.

What I want to do is go outside, grab a rake and clean out my rock garden. I want to be doing outside things instead of being inside working, blogging, painting or doing school work. I'm trying to blog about being outside instead of actually being outside because I have too much to do inside. The most outdoor enjoyment I can expect today is going outside to talk to my coworker Donna while she has a smoke break.

What I need to do today is read a book titled American Indians and U.S. Politics which is exactly as exciting as it sounds. Then I need to answer 5 questions about the reading with about 250-word answers. I also need to be at work in two hours, so I won't finish before work. I heard that we might have to say an extra hour or more after closing tonight so I may not be home from work until 7:30. That leaves a little more than 4 hours to finish my assignment before the deadline - midnight.

I may or may not have been procrastinating again.

Make sure to visit my photo blog, Kim's Pics, for a nice spring photo from last year.

Something New

2011-04-02T18:45:00.001-04:00

Today I have started a new blog, Kim's Pics(visit here)which will be a place to post the random photos that I take of anything and everything. Because I want to spend more time on photography as a hobby, I wanted to have a place to show off some of the many, many photos that I take, as well as some I have taken previously that are already on my computer or external hard drive. Be sure to visit for a seriously cute picture of Daisy and Angel Kitty.

Also, today Shallow Mind, Deep Thoughts gets a face lift in the form of a new look to keep things consistent with both blogs. It's also just a way of spring cleaning my blog. Got to make everything nice and fresh for spring, right?

So Much For the Storm

2011-04-01T19:14:00.000-04:00

I can't decide if the weather-people just pulled a huge April Fool's joke on us all or if they really didn't have a clue what was going on. The 5 inches of snow that they promised us today turned out to be a dusting of snow and a light rain all day.

Because they were making this out to be a nor'easter, I bet the grocery stores had a run on bread, eggs and milk. That makes me sure that people sit around at home during blizzards and make french toast. I guess there are worse things to do while it snows than eat french toast.

Since the weather-people just don't get it, they are calling for another 2 - 3 inches of snow tonight. I'm willing to bet that since the forecast hasn't been right all winter, they are wrong again. If they aren't, well, they are forecasting mid to high forties for most of next week, which should melt any snow that we get over night. Good thing, because I am not shovelling.

I hope everyone who panicked about the weather forecast has calmed down by now. I also hope the stores have gotten the dairy truck in today because I'm out of milk. Maybe I used it all in anticipation of the blizzard so I could be one of those people who had to run out and buy more milk because "there is a storm coming."

What's The Big Deal?

2011-03-31T20:13:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty sure everyone in upstate New York has gone completely batshit crazy.

The reason? We are supposed to get a snowstorm that will move Albany, NY into the top ten locations for snowfall this year. (For the record, at Albany International Airport, we have had 86 inches of snow this winter, according to the radio this morning while I was driving to work this morning.)

The National Weather service tells us to expect 4-8 inches of snow. I'm not sure why this has twisted everyone's panties. We live in upstate New York. It's March 31. We pretty much ALWAYS get at least a little snow in March and April. I'm not sure why this storm is coming as such a shock to so many people.

I'm not even a little bit surprised. It seems like every spring my poor spring bulbs are forced to endure at least one snow storm. I hope the poor little crocus featured in yesterday's post is prepared for the coming snow. At least this crocus was sensible enough to wait for spring to start to grow, unlike the November Flowers from 2009.

Poor little crocus. I should knit him a sweater.

Good News

2011-03-30T17:36:00.001-04:00

I knew some of the many, many bulbs that I planted last fall would be growing soon, but some of the bulbs chose an earlier start than I was expecting. Including this one:

I guess it's true that spring is really on it's way and not just a myth. Seems like winter has lasted forever. The snow piles on my front lawn don't seem to be getting any smaller even if I see more bare ground every day. Maybe some day soon I will have flowers surrounded by green grass instead of that poor crocus surrounded by last year's dead grass.

Aging Luxury Sedans

2011-03-29T20:14:00.000-04:00

Today I encountered a Lexus sedan that I'm guessing was at least ten years old. This led me into a round of speculation that the driver is still overly impressed with her Lexus even though it's not even close to new. I began to reach this conclusion because I was passed by and passed this driver no less than three times on the Northway today on my way from Saratoga Springs to Clifton Park. (People who have not mastered the fine art of setting the cruise control will rate a rant from me at a later time.)

A few years ago I was unfortunate enough to encounter an individual who was excessively pleased with himself for owning a BMW. The problem? It was 2002 and his BMW was a 1987. Not old enough to be a classic, not clean enough to be a show car. Just another aging sedan, no better than the Chevy Corsica that I was driving at the time. The difference being that I had no ego whatsoever wrapped up in my Corsica. Proof? When I took it in for a brake job and the garage informed me that the frame was rusted through and ready to break I was actually happy because it meant I could get a newer car.

If tomorrow I see a 20 year old Mercedes with a driver who is entirely too impressed with him/herself because of the status granted to them by Mercedes ownership, I will be very unhappy. I am willing to bet that pondering the reasons why people keep luxury sedans far past the date when they would be better off to trade the car in on a used Honda Civic will cause many, many more of these people to rotate into my plane of existence. I fully expect to spend the next week seeing elderly luxury sedans. Once the car is paid off it stops being a status symbol and becomes a symbol that the owner is just another person who doesn't want a car payment, luxury sedan or not.

Guess I’m A Sheep

2011-03-28T14:57:00.004-04:00

Today I did something that I should have done a year and a half ago. I purchased a new cell phone. In spite of protesting that I did not like the BlackBerry phone (and I don't like the one my brother has) I am now the proud owner of a BlackBerry Torch. Let me just follow the crowd of many other people who have been sucked into the world of BlackBerry ownership.

While I am able to access the internet from my cell phone now, I am under no delusion that this will lead to more frequent blogging. More frequent procrastination, perhaps. Maybe even more frequent Google searching and wasting time. It might even lead to the major evil of the internet: Facebook (insert gasp of horror and shudder here). I doubt it will lead to increase productivity with school work or blogging or anything else.

I fully expect to spend the next few weeks not knowing how to operate my BlackBerry, which may include accidentally calling the wrong people from my Bluetooth headset because my voice commands were unclear. My new phone will probably lead to much more texting, to the great annoyance of the few people who receive texts from me.

As with all other things, sooner or later the novelty will evaporate and I will get back to my former life of non-BlackBerry-based procrastination and time wasting.

Maybe Spring Cleaning IS A Good Idea

2011-03-27T23:09:00.000-04:00

Lately I have found myself doing an excess of housework. By "excess" I mean that I am doing housework at all. I'm not a big fan of cleaning anything, as evidenced by this week when Matt cleaned the house Thursday morning after I went to work but before he had to leave for his job. It's now Sunday and I have done a fair job of messing up everything he cleaned.

I did spend an entire day off cleaning the spare room last week. The floor is now visible, which means there is lots more room for the scrapbooking materials that I expect to soon take over the entire room and spill over into the hall. Tonight I performed the usual laundry round up in my bedroom and sorted lights, darks, towels, random winter clothing, and sheets to be washed. Then, because I still thought it was a good idea to clean something I actually dusted in the bedroom.

I am pretty sure I was just bitten on the toe by a large dust bunny. As I have said before, I think dust pit bull is a far more appropriate name for dust animals. Mine are far too large and ornery to be a sweet little dust bunny. (Oddly enough, what inspired my college boyfriend to vacuum his dorm room was when I started naming his dust bunnies. I'm not quite that bad. But still, pretty bad.) Since I have gotten it into my head to battle the dust bunnies and stray feathers from my down pillow, I informed Matt that on our mutual day off this week (Tuesday) we will have to move the bed away from the wall so I can vacuum under it properly.

Normally I don't give a shit about cleaning the house. I don't know what's gotten into me lately. It could be boredom, procrastination, or possibly a desire to behave like a normal human being. Maybe it's because nicer weather is on the way and I would much rather spend nice days outside fixing my gardens or working with my horses than inside looking for clean socks. Or worse, a matching pair of socks. (Didn't hear about my sock problems yet? Go here for the whole story.)

So far my spring cleaning has led me to reorganize all the kitchen cabinets, clean out the spare room, rearrange the living room yet again, and dust the bedroom. Who knows what will happen next but I sort of hope it leads to a reduction in the number of small white feathers on my bedroom floor. And maybe to a pillow that won't shed everywhere.

Speaking of the dust bunnies, remember my first ever blog post? Giant Killer Dust Bunnies.

Scrapbooking Takes Over

2011-03-26T23:01:00.000-04:00

I found a new hobby recently. I have decided to start scrapbooking. Mostly this is so I can enjoy pictures of my family, pets, random inanimate objects and stuff I saw on vacation without having to search for the pictures on my hard drive, or even worse, find the printed photos. My plan is to try to hold off on starting to put together the scrapbooks until this semester is over and I have the entire summer to enjoy myself and dedicate myself to fun activities like gardening and crafting. Although I did find out today that I will likely have to spend a portion of my summer crocheting baby blankets because of my friends who insist on getting pregnant.
I stopped in A.C. Moore (website here) the other day with Matt because I wanted a frame for something a coworker painted for me a number of months ago. I had my $10 reward certificate in hand and entered the store believing that I would only purchase the frame, then leave. Not likely.

I found the frame but I also found about $25 in scrapbooking materials. Mostly stickers and fancy paper. Yes, I said stickers. So I'm 29 years old and plan to have fun with stickers in my scrapbook. Sue me. We left the store and Matt decided he needed to go to Staples (website here) which is next door to A.C. Moore. So we went to Staples where we wandered the store for 20 minutes while Matt collected a stack of 3 ring binders, some of those storage portfolios with the elastic band around them and a multitude of index cards that he needs for reasons known only to him and his two brothers. While waiting for Matt, I located the refill cards that I needed for my Rolodex (and was able to trick Matt into paying for them). I also kept thinking of another scrapbooking tool that I really wanted from A.C. Moore.

When we went back to the car I told Matt that I wanted to run in A.C. Moore again to pick up the fancy scissors that make a decorative edge on paper, photos, etc. He was okay with that, because he's probably the only guy alive who actually LIKES craft stores and shopping (which is why he's my guy and I'm keeping him). Back in A.C. Moore. I grabbed the scissors (an 8 pack!) and was ready to go. By this time, Matt spotted the Easter stuff. So we ended up buying Easter baskets and the stuff to fill them for his niece and nephew. I had a blast picking out stuff to use to make the Easter baskets for the kids and I'm looking forward to putting the baskets together.

Back home, I located the 3 scrapbooks and a few other items that I already had for scrapbooking. I also located the pictures that I want to place in various scrapbooks and of course the 8 pairs of decorative scissors had to go in the basket as well. The cat decided to climb into the basket at this point, but don't worry. I don't plan to store her there. She would probably puke a hairball on my precious scrapbook materials.

I can see that scrapbooking is going to take over my entire house and probably my entire life. Just searching through A.C. Moore for the right paper to use as a background for photos from our trip to Magic Wings or the New England Aquarium could take over my life. I bet the search for the best paper could also easily take over my bank account.

Thinking About Sporks

2011-03-15T12:43:00.000-04:00

Who the hell came up with the idea for a spork? Was it someone who thought, well, I don't really need the whole pokey part of the fork and it could really use a bowl sort of like a spoon. Yes! I have it! I'll make a spoon with a jagged edge! That way if the ice cream is really hard I can sort of hack it into pieces and I'll still have the bowl-part of the spoon to collect the melted stuff!

According to spork.org, a fork is a "metaphor for human existence." I don't know what they are getting at there, but I do understand this sentence "You cannot have soup with a spork, it is far too shallow; you cannot eat meat with a spork, the prongs are too small."

If it's not good enough for you to have both your spoon and fork melded into one useless implement, sometimes you can get a spoon-fork-knife spork. That's just what I need. Something else useless to take up space in the kitchen drawers. It's a whole new level of useless!

Spork.org offers a number of creative suggestions for things to do with your useless spork. Please go here if you would like to learn more about what to do with sporks. Or you could Google the word spork, and then you will received approximately 1,520,000 results (I actually did check this in case you were wondering).

In other news, my vendetta against spell check has increased since it does not recognize the work "spork."

When The Dog Gets Stuck In The Snow

2011-03-11T22:51:00.000-05:00

I meant to post this last Monday or possibly Tuesday but I was sucked into a time warp with the lost socks and didn't find my way out until today. At least, that's the story I'm going to tell you. Didn't hear about the socks? Go here for the whole story.

Every time it snows we hear about cars, mostly driven by idiots, going off the road. Sometimes they get in another kind of accident, sometimes caused by the mistaken impression that four wheel drive is also four wheel stop. These accidents usually consist of driving stupidly and hitting a person who is driving sensibly. And sometimes the snow is deep and cars get stuck. This one is not necessarily caused through idiotic driving - it could also be caused by idiotic car design. And bald tires.

What we don't hear about during snow storms are the poor animals that get stuck in the snow. Like my dog, for example. Sunday night in the worst part of the storm, Daisy needed to go outside for walkies (she's getting better at the not peeing on the carpet thing - it only took her a couple years). So after I got Daisy into her sweater and got myself into my coat, hat, scarf, gloves and boots, we went outside.

Daisy bounded off the porch, down the steps and into the snow. That was the end of the bounding, because she was stuck up to her belly in the snow. Fortunately my street had been plowed so I was able to extract Daisy from the snowdrift (which was probably 8 inches deep or so) and carry her to the road to resume her walkies.

I may own a toy breed dog but she walks most places on her own four paws. I don't normally carry her around. I don't have a purse to carry her in when I take her places. I treat her like a dog, not an accessory. And she acts like a dog, not a yappy little ankle-biting purse pet like so many chihuahuas and chihuahua mix dogs. So because she usually walks most places under her own power and I usually let her, it's amazing how she just gives me the "My legs are four inches long! Carry me, damn you" look when she's stuck up to her belly in snow.

My mother also gets that look sometimes during Sunday Walkies with Daisy. Mostly she gets the look when she has allowed Daisy to wander into a belly-deep puddle.

Socks Reunited

2011-03-09T21:39:00.001-05:00

Screams of joy filled the laundry basket.

"You're home at last!"

"I missed you!"

"I've been waiting for you."

"Welcome home."

And then, I overheard this conversation:

"You bastard! How dare you show your face in this sock drawer again? Where were you for the past six months?!"

"Stuck in the bottom of the laundry basket with the others!"

"The others?! You mean you were cheating on me this whole time?"

"No, I mean I was stuck in a laundry basket with some wool socks."

"You are a fashion crew sock! Why would you cheat on me with a wool sock of all things?"

"I wasn't cheating on you! You know I don't like wool - you know it makes me sneeze!"

"I thought you had run off with a fishnet trouser sock! Do you have any idea what you put me through?"

"I see you haven't changed at all since I was missing. Did you even miss me at all?"

"[censored]"

"[censored]"

"[censored]"

"Fine! Maybe this time I will leave you for a low-ankle athletic sock!"

"Go ahead, if it can stand you."

I'm still shocked because: A, I did not know socks knew such language, and B, it was common knowledge that I had many, many socks in the laundry basket that were missing their mates. But I learned that the socks consider themselves married and do not appreciate helpful comments such as "maybe you don't match after all."

Special thanks to Angel Kitty for successfully defending me against a vicious fashion crew sock that was highly irate because its mate is still missing.

Ice Season

2011-03-06T11:29:00.002-05:00

Ice season is that lovely final portion of winter where you can finally see part of the lawn where the snow has melted, but don't try to walk on it because it's icy and you will probably slip, fall on your ass, and have the neighbors laughing at you.

Most mornings I get up and take Daisy outside for her first walkies of the day. Usually we go out the door, take a left, go around the front of the house and circle the house counterclockwise. Because the front third of my lawn is impassible due to large quantities of ice, we now go outside, turn right, and walk back and forth over the two thirds of the lawn that are safe for walking.

I will be happy when the ice melts, but the next season is even worse: mud season. When the snow is gone, but the water remains, making the dog get muddy paws which she will then wipe clean on the couch or anything else that is hard to clean. But we can talk about that later. Right now I think I will welcome the mud. For the most part, mud doesn't make me fall on my ass.

Summer Projects

2011-03-05T23:29:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's because we have a snow forecast yet again, but I am already looking forward to summer. Mostly, I'm looking forward to taking 4 months off from school work (bliss - and the first break I have taken since going back to school. Bad idea, by the way, because in addition to my insanity, I am not suffering from a raging case of burnout.) but there are a number of things I want to accomplish that just aren't happening while having my usual load of school work and work hours.

Because of some one's complaining that he doesn't know where things go in the kitchen cabinets, I have decided that Matt and I need to reorganize the cabinets together. Guaranteed to be a major headache and pain in the ass simultaneously, but I guess it has to be done so I can find my casserole dishes where they belong (on top of the pie plates, is that so difficult?) and my colander (with the storage dishes because there isn't enough room in the cabinet that houses my pots and pans).

I would also like to get Mount Clean Laundry put away once and for all. I'm sick of having to scuba dive through a heap of clean clothes to find socks each and every day before I can go to work. Ditto for clean shirts. Fortunately most of my winter clothes do not require ironing.

Most of all, I want to get my yard work done this summer. I desperately need to spread lime on the lawn to combat the spread of moss and maybe if I had more time to spend on my plants, I could actually coax the peonies to flower this year instead of just budding then dying like last summer. And maybe I could finally fix my sidewalk so it's not an icy mess that forces me to walk on the lawn. Since we are in "ice season" (which is closely followed by mud season, in case you didn't know), I spend a lot of time being annoyed with my yard and driveway, both of which are half full of deadly, slippery ice.

Only another 8 weeks to go before this semester ends. I'm looking forward to it while dreading all the work that I have to do over the next eight weeks. Lucky me.

Reverse Bill Roulette

2011-03-02T17:29:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else play bill roulette? I do this every paycheck. I have to decide which bills I won't pay until the next time I get paid.

Funny how my cell phone company doesn't like this process. Also, I suspect National Grid isn't to impressed with it either. And AmeriGas just plain hates me after the blog post referencing how much they suck (and wrote a complaint to the web site PissedConsumer.com about same). Time Warner probably likes me because they were just kind enough to up my rate to $54.94 per month from the $29.95 that I was paying. Since I have yet to cancel my Roadrunner subscription, they probably think I'm great even when they get paid on a somewhat erratic schedule.

The reverse bill roulette goes something like this:

look at bank account to see how much money I have.
Scoff at the small automatic deposit that was my paycheck.
Go to the web sites for AT&T Wireless, Time Warner, National Grid and AmeriGas to see the amounts of my most recent bills.
Figure out on paper how much I can afford to pay while still having enough to buy groceries and maybe put some gas in my truck.
Decide not to pay at least one of the above.

It's sort of like playing Russian Roulette with no blanks.

Working Out With Wii

2011-02-27T23:39:00.000-05:00

I might have mentioned a couple hundred times how much I love my Wii. I will admit that now that the new is starting to wear off, it has decreased to the correct status level: it's just below my computer in my affections. This is probably because the novelty of having a Wii is starting to wear off but could also be because I have been working out with my Wii.

I purchased the EA Sports Active 2 which comes with 2 motion sensors, one of which is also a heart rate monitor. I started on the easy program: 3 week Cardio Kick Start on the easy level. And it's kicking my ass, so it's a good thing I wasn't trying to be brave or deny my level of laziness and picked medium difficulty.

Anyways, today was the end of my first week of the Cardio Kick Start program. My goals (set by the program) were to have 4 workouts this week (last Monday to today), burn 600 calories during those workouts, and get 2 hours of exercise. The first 2 were easy. The 2 hours of exercise was a challenge because each program workout is only about 20 minutes long. I managed to do an extra 30 minute workout yesterday. When I finished my workout today and it showed my stats, it said I had completed 1 hour 58 minutes of exercise for the week.

That pissed me off enough that I created my own workout which consisted of 2 stretches for a total of about 2 minutes, 3 seconds, but it was enough to meet my goal. So there, EA Sports Active 2. I won.

A Big Time Out

2011-02-26T21:31:00.000-05:00

I was subjected to a number of people who deserved a time out today. First was the woman who had a 45 minute tantrum because we don't carry window treatments in the exact length that she wanted (which was 57 inches). Yes, you read that correctly - I said woman. She was probably in her middle twenties. And she had a tantrum because she couldn't find curtains on the shelf that were exactly the length of her window. Most people would choose a 63" panel. We have many of those in stock and just about everything is available to be ordered in that length. For some reason, she insisted that the 63" panels would "drag on the floor." I found it odd that her windows were only 6 inches off the floor.

Next, I heard children screaming at Applebee's. It's another reason why I usually avoid going out to dinner on Saturday nights, but my father had a gift card, my parents were in town to do their grocery shopping and for my father to snow blow the foot of snow that fell yesterday (so I will have room to shovel the snow that's coming tonight). I didn't fight very hard when the offered to buy me dinner. Even if dinner did come with a side of screaming children, overly loud music, a giant TV right over our table (basketball - so it wasn't even a decent game to watch) and lighting so dim that I'm still not quite sure what I ate for dinner.

I'm sure all of the people who annoyed me today deserved a big time out. We all know how effective that is for reducing the screaming of kids in restaurants. I'm not sure what it would do for grown women who have tantrums in the drapery department. Probably cause her to have a tantrum about being placed in time out for acting like a five year old.

Another Battle of Electronic Devices

2011-02-24T14:25:00.000-05:00

I suspect all the electronics in my house get together and party when no one is home. I believe all the gadgets with timers go party with the alarm clock, and my computer most likely tries to boss all the other gadgets around because it believes, incorrectly, that it's my favorite.

To be totally honest, the computer used to be my favorite electronic device in my house. Since we brought home the Wii, the computer has fallen to second place. It should just get used to it because the Wii will remain my favorite until, well, who knows.

Annoyingly, Matt's brother bought him a PS3. This is annoying because the one game that Matt has for the PS3 is really, really stupid. Matt also insists on sitting in my desk chair to play this game (claiming that he can't see the TV screen from the couch). AND, when Matt leaves this game on, unattended, it prevents me from being able to spend quality time with the Wii. (This might be the plan or possible revenge for the fact that he had to do his own laundry this week but I'm not sure).

Some day I figure I will come home from work and the PS3 and Wii will be in the middle of the living room floor, probably having a fight, refereed by Daisy. The Wii will most likely be screaming things like "My controllers are better!" and "My games are better!" but I'm not sure how the PS3 will defend itself against such (accurate) accusations.

The new problem? Since we own gaming systems, we have been discussing upgrading to a newer TV. And that's a problem because I don't really want a new TV. I also don't quite have room for a new TV.

Lessons Learned From A Meg Ryan Movie

2011-02-21T20:23:00.000-05:00

I might have mentioned that Matt and I got Netflix the same day we bought our Wii. (I might have also mentioned how much I love my Wii, but that is another story.)

Anyways, even though Matt knows I have lousy taste in movies, he still allows me to choose something for our viewing enjoyment periodically. One of my recent picks was Serious Moonlight. I had no clue how good the movie would be, I just found it amusing that the blurb that Netflix had about the movie stated that Meg Ryan's character duct taped Timothy Hutton's character to the toilet.

First she knocked him out with a well-thrown flower pot, then she duct taped him to a chair, then when he escaped, she knocked him out with another flower pot, then duct taped him to the toilet. Well, he did say he had to go.

Actually, the part I had trouble with was the fact that Timothy Hutton's character was such a whiny and pathetic loser. Seriously? Can't figure out WHY any woman would want to keep a douche bag of a man who had been screwing a younger woman in their bed. That being said, it's not like he is particularly good looking and if I had to guess, he probably possesses a very tiny penis. Cheaters usually do.

So all I learned from this movie is how to duct tape a person to the toilet should this ever become necessary. Oh, and I picked up a few tips for if I ever need to heave a flower pot at some one's head hard enough to knock him out.

A Bad Time To Try New Pasta

2011-02-17T16:54:00.000-05:00

The last time pasta was purchased in this household, I sent Matt to the freezer section of the grocery store unsupervised and he chose a package of gnocchi and a package of tortellini instead of the raviolis that I asked him to grab. The tortellini were rather tasty but were consumed last week. So today when Matt wanted to have some pasta before leaving for work, the only "good stuff" that I had in the freezer turned out to be a package of gnocchi.

Because I am a nice girlfriend, I offered to cook the pasta for Matt so he could have something to eat before work. I thought it was a package of tortellini, so imagine my shock when I poured the package of frozen pasta into the boiling water and realized that no, it was definitely not tortellini. Fortunately for Matt, he's not fussy, so the thought of eating some sort of unknown lump of dough didn't really bother him.

So I tried gnocchi today. My observations while enjoying a plate of gnocchi:

This stuff is not that great.
This would be better if it had some flavor (statement can be equally applied to the Prego pasta sauce I trying to eat with my gnocchi).
If I ever make beef stew, I will add gnocchi and call it dumplings.
At least we tried something new.
And I used the work gnocchi 7 times in this post.

Fortune Cookies Know Things About Me

2011-02-15T23:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I was traumatized by a fortune cookie. You know how they usually say dumbass things about how your life will be peaceful and you will have loads of friends? Well, mine was actually accurate and to be completely honest, it scared the living shit out of me.

I went shopping for clothes and shoes yesterday. After buying 4 pairs of shoes and a couple new outfits (okay, probably 4 new outfits. I apologize for nothing.) my aunt and I decided on Chinese food for dinner, mostly because the Red Lobster had far to long of a line, probably because of everyone deciding to go out to dinner for Valentine's Day. But this meant that there were maybe 10 other tables in use at the Chinese buffet, so it was like having the place to ourselves.

I picked a fortune cookie out of the bowl by the buffet and cracked it open to this message:

"You are going to have some new clothes."

Seriously, how did a goddamn fortune cookie know this? Was it following me? And if it was following me, what's wrong with me that I didn't notice that a crinkly cellophane wrapped bit of crispy dough was trailing me through Lane Bryant? Seriously, now I'm worried that the fortune cookie saw me in my underwear in the fitting room. And no, I haven't been drinking (I might be trippin' on cold meds though).

Happy Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T01:59:00.000-05:00

I admit that I plan to thoroughly enjoy Valentine's day this year. I'm guessing that a large portion of that has to do with the fact that I have a boyfriend who is great.

Since it's now 1:40 AM Valentine's day (haven't been to bed yet. Tried, couldn't sleep) I don't know exactly what Valentine's day will bring. Flowers? That would be great. Candy? Well, I like it, but it's best if chocolate doesn't enter my house. Stuffed animals? As long as Daisy doesn't get to them. According to Daisy, the eyes are the caviar of the stuffed animal.

More good news, I wrote a ten page paper in less than 4 days and submitted it more or less on time. Would have been completely on time but the stupid online class was being an ass pain. Good thing I remembered to try again before I fell asleep. My mother would have kicked my ass for making her proofread a paper then not submitting it, or not submitting it on time. Genius.

Also, I will spend a good portion of Valentine's Day with my Wii. Maybe I should buy my Wii a Valentine's present...

Oh, for the record? Matt already got his present. He got a card and a teddy bear that's holding a heart that says "love." Somewhat corny, yes, but at least the bear is only about 5 inches tall. At least I didn't get him some giant stuffed animal, because that's just weird - especially for a guy. So I can get my Wii a present if I want to. I just don't know what it wants. Maybe the WiiFit?

This Is A Problem

2011-02-10T19:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday after much discussion and second thinking, Matt and I used a portion of my tax refund to buy a Wii. The theory was that we can get Netflix on the Wii, and if we watch at least 2 movies per month, it costs less than renting from Blockbuster (unless we want a new release - Blockbuster was so kind as to raise the rental fee for new releases to something like $8. Bastards.)

But anyways. We could also potentially have game nights with the Wii. That is, once we acquire another controller and maybe additional games. Right now we have Wii Sports and can play the bowling and golf games. We also own the Wii Sports Resort, which we can't play because of having only one controller. Nothing like trying to beg us to buy additional controllers! Wouldn't it be smart for Nintendo to do something like offer 20% off any additional items (such as controllers or games) when someone purchases the system? Probably would have bought an extra game and extra controllers yesterday if this was the case.

Still, I like the Wii. In spite of the fact that my Wii Age is 65. I do find this pathetic, but let's keep in mind that I haven't used a Wii before yesterday. Actually the best part of the Wii so far has been the Wii practice games. I especially like Target Practice for golf and all the bowling practices.

The down side is that now I actually want to use the Wii instead of accomplishing more important things like school work - including a 10 page paper that was assigned to me yesterday and that I must turn in on the 13th. (Yeah, it's a make-up assignment. Don't ask, then I won't have to bore you with another long story.)

Hopefully I can get a large portion of my paper completed before Matt gets home and then we can watch our first Netflix On Demand movie.

The Blanket Wars, Part 2

2011-02-08T20:07:00.000-05:00

A while ago I wrote about the problems with deciding to share my life and a full size bed with my boyfriend Matt. (The Blanket Wars post is here). Lately I have found myself fighting a new type of blanket war. This one, with all 10 pounds of my dog.

I have afghans that I have crocheted that are on the couch most of the time for napping purposes. The problem is that Daisy believes these are HER afghans and should not be used by anyone else. If I have been lying on the couch with an afghan and need to leave the couch for any reason, by the time I return to the couch, Daisy will have taken over my blanket.

The other problem is Angel Kitty deciding to push me out of the way on the bed so she can have what she claims is an adequate portion of the comforter. She's also partial to clean laundry, but won't admit it. I am not sure how it is possible for a 14.5 pound kitty to push me out of her way, but she manages.

I don't know how to solve the Angel problem. I bought her a pet house (which she loves, but still prefers to shove me out of her way on the bed). Angel also has many other places where she loves to sleep including kitchen chairs and her very own window seat. So it's not that she has to sleep on the bed, it's just that she prefers to, but only if it will bother me.

I did solve the Daisy problem. I bought Daisy her very own blankie today. It's queen size. Think that's enough for a ten pound dog?

Fun With TurboTax in 2011

2011-02-07T00:12:00.000-05:00

I enjoy preparing my taxes every year. Of course I don't do all the calculations by hand, I use Turbo Tax. (Seriously, do you think I have learned NOTHING in my accounting courses? I mean, really!)

This year I have triumphed over the IRS and earned a healthy refund. Of course, the bonus prize is awarded for getting a large enough federal refund to pay New York State the amount that they conveniently do not withhold from my paycheck. Rat bastards that they are.

Oh, did I say that the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance consists of rat bastards? Good, because I meant to.

Seriously, when you get a 4 figure refund back from the federal government because of how much EXTRA they withhold from my biweekly paychecks (this is deliberate - I know I have them take out too much in taxes, but I would rather get a refund than have to pay a bill at tax time, no matter that some of the financial geniuses out there say I should have them take less out of my check so I can have that money to live on through the year. It's a lot better than misjudging how much they should be taking out of my check and finding out that I can't pay my income taxes.) and yet have to pay the state because they do not take enough of my income in taxes, there is a problem with the system. This might be a contributing factor for New York state being completely broke, having a moron for a governor, and those aforementioned rat bastards in the Department of Taxation and Finance.

Hey, maybe I can flunk out of college and go work with the rat bastards. Oh wait, New York state is too broke to hire me. Good thing I have experience in retail, because if my only option was a government job, I think cooking mystery meat byproduct at McDonald's looks like an attractive career.

Another Lousy Customer Service Story

2011-01-31T16:12:00.000-05:00

My propane company was kind enough to allow me to run out of fuel over the weekend. Since I haven't publicly eviscerated a company for quite some time, I decided a little bit of research was in order prior to writing this post. I shall share my research momentarily, but first, the story.

I worked until 5 PM on Saturday. When I arrived at home, I thought it was a bit chilly in here and noticed the distinctive rotten eggs scent that means propane. After racing through the house like a crazy person to check on the welfare of Angel Kitty and the Daisasaurus, I noticed that I could smell propane by the furnace (where the pilot was out) and the kitchen stove. So I figured it was just that the pilot had gone out on the furnace for some reason, after all, I have never run out of fuel before.

Not knowing what the problem really was, I shut off the valves on the tanks outside, reasoning that this should prevent the propane from leaking into the house, with the added bonus of not having to smell it. Finally, my father arrived to help me get the furnace working again. The problem? The propane tanks were empty and the low pressure caused the pilot to go out, which caused the propane smell inside my house.

I called my propane company for an emergency delivery at around 7:30 on Saturday night. This interfered with my Saturday plans to have dinner, finish up some homework and go to bed early (boy is my life exciting). I ended up doing 7 loads of laundry over night (because I have a heating vent attached to my dryer which allows it to vent in the house without blowing lint everywhere). The result? My house was about 48 degrees Sunday morning at 9 AM.

The delivery guy finally got here at 11 AM, or about 30 minutes after my father got here with a large electric heater. I'm not sure why the propane company finds it acceptable to:

Allow practically everyone to run out of fuel,
Have only 1 delivery driver working on the weekend, when they have allowed everyone to run out of fuel, and
To expect anyone to be without heat for 16 hours in the middle of January.

And now, for the research. I figure that AmeriGas can't get too pissed off at me for referencing other websites that give the gory details of the poor customer service we receive from them.

Please visit Pissed Consumer here to read many, many reviews of how AmeriGas has shafted, screwed, raped and otherwise violated their customer base. I plan to notify them that my last month of service from them will be July when my budget plan expires. At that time I will find a new - and undoubtedly better propane company.

For anyone who is considering AmeriGas service, be sure to visit the Pissed Consumer website before making that decision.

Smells Like Curry

2011-01-28T14:05:00.001-05:00

Lately I have been trying to cook a wider variety of meals. Left to my own devices I can exist happily on eating macaroni and cheese and peanut butter and jelly but some people prefer more variety in meals. Okay, I like variety too, but I'm too lazy and usually too broke to manage to add more variety to the menu.

On Wednesday I made a chicken and broccoli casserole that called for curry powder. I am pretty sure that I have never cooked a dish that required use of curry powder before. The casserole tasted great. The problem is that today is Friday and I can still smell the curry.

Next time I make a dish that includes curry, I will make sure to thoroughly fumigate the house afterward.

Joint Bank Account

2011-01-27T14:04:00.000-05:00

Matt and I took a giant step into coupledom yesterday. We opened a joint savings account.

Mostly this was so we could have a secure place to put our current "savings account" which is a large jar partly filled with coins. By partly filled, I expect we have about $200 in the jar. I figure at this point it would be best to place the money in the bank so it can earn a little interest and I can stop worrying about if my trailer park neighbors are going to some day break in and steal the coins.

These are the same people who are probably laboring under the delusion that just because two people live here now that there is twice as much stuff available for stealing. That being said, I live in a reasonably safe neighborhood although there are routine reports of idiots breaking into cars. Breaking into cars when you already have a criminal record is stupid because the cops already have your address, and they will be paying you a visit at unfortunate hours of the night if you are dumb enough to break into a car.

Wait, what was my point?

Oh yes. Protecting the "savings account".

Anyways, now I am stuck with counting and wrapping all the change in the jar. I don't mind this and it's better than being ripped off by the CoinStar machine at the grocery store. It's actually carrying the bag full of rolled coins into the bank that sucks. Maybe I can convince Matt to do this so I don't have to. After all, if I count and wrap all the coins he should at least take them to the bank, right? I mean, yesterday I made an apple pie just for him (which was actually a bribe to get him to move my treadmill back to a usable location). Division of labor, right? (Did I mention that I divided the labor of making the pie into spending my time making the pie crust while Matt peeled, cored and sliced the apples?)

Thrilled That It's Not 1976

2011-01-23T20:01:00.000-05:00

Tonight we are expecting a low temperature of 17 below zero. Yes, -17. This means dog walking this evening will be taken to a whole new low, what with both the dog and I having to bundle into multiple layers of clothing for a simple visit out side for my dog to take a dump in the driveway of the annoying people 2 doors down who think it is a GOOD idea to drive their car out into the road with the windshield TOTALLY covered with snow so they can brush the snow off in the road where it inconveniences everyone in the neighborhood (note: these are the same dumb asses...err...people...who bitch because people walk past their house on a FENCED path between their yard and their neighbors yard).

Anyways, even though we are expecting -17 degrees, I still found something to be grateful for. The record low for today in Saratoga Springs was reached in 1976 at -32. So all in all, I guess I'm glad it's not 1976.

Damn That Shovel

2011-01-19T18:27:00.001-05:00

I admit that I may have been a little too happy with my new ergonomic shovel (early Christmas present from Matt - hey, nothing says true love like a snow shovel, even if Matt said he didn't consider a shovel to be a present. Which just means he hasn't spent much time around my family. We give things like manure forks, shovels, and once my grandmother gave me a spading fork for Christmas.) But back to the point. I suspect the fact that I was happy about my ergonomic shovel is what made it snow so much lately. I was happy that I managed to clean up after a couple storms without injury, so now I'm getting payback from Mother Nature in the form of more snow than I care to handle.

I do enjoy the design that makes shoveling much less stressful on my back. I DO NOT enjoy actually having to USE my ergonomic shovel several times in a week, and more than one time per day. While it is a nice thing to have and it's nice to use, but it's not so nice to have to use it.

Maybe this means I should work on getting that snow blower that I was considering buying back in the fall. Considering the guy who bought me the shovel told me not to worry about buying a snow blower because he would be around to help me shovel out the driveway. To date, he has been here for exactly one snow storm, and that was the storm that left the smallest amount of snow so far this winter.

I wonder if I could use Daisy's excess of energy to power a snow blower since the price of gas is getting completely out of control again.

Worse Than A Kid

2011-01-17T14:28:00.000-05:00

I survived the dinner party with the parents. It was fun, although I confess to having needed to call my mother for technical support when it came to making biscuits.

The biggest problem of the party? My father.

First he sat in my computer chair by my computer desk. Then he got the bright idea to set his glass of Sprite not on the top of the desk (the logical place to put it) but on the pull out keyboard shelf. Bright idea, especially when he decided to spin the chair around so he was facing the rest of the room but forgot about his glass on the pull out shelf and pushed the chair into it, causing a flood of Sprite. Need I mention that the glass was close to full at the time?

After that, I ordered Dad to go sit on the couch, which is guaranteed not to stain for ten years (although, I wonder how I am supposed to collect on this should the couch stain, since the store where I bought it is no longer in business). No further incidents occurred until after everyone had left, and then I realized that my father had ever so politely left his empty plate sitting on the end table. Everyone else was kind enough to put their dishes in the sink or on the kitchen counter.

My father also leaves the toilet seat up every chance he gets.

In case there was any doubt, this post is considered payback for: leaving the toilet seat up routinely; spilling things on the carpet at my house, including a burning candle on one memorable occasion; leaving the door open at my house in spite of having spent the 22 years that I lived in his house yelling at me to close the door; leaving dirty coffee cups (and the plate from last night) wherever he happens to set them down while at my house, in spite of yelling at me for 22 years about leaving dirty dishes sitting around, and once "forgetting" to take my keys out of his pocket before leaving to make the one-hour drive back to his house from my house.

The Last of My Sanity

2011-01-16T11:59:00.000-05:00

Today is the day. My parents and Matt's parents are coming over for dinner. So far I have already made the brownies, sliced cheese to assemble into a cheese plate later, discovered that Matt forgot to buy pepperoni, ran out of dish soap, drank some organically grown, fairly traded Earl Grey, and sliced cucumbers for the veggie plate.

This morning has cost me another portion of my sanity. Since I was not completely sane when I started this project, I can now safely claim to be batshit crazy. Sooner or later those guys in the white coats with the straitjackets will be showing up at my door to cart me off.

Which might not be such a bad thing. Then I would be safely exempt from planning future dinner parties with both sets of parents. This in turn would remove future obligations to clean the house and prepare the food while Matt sleeps (although, I don't hold this against him because he did work last night, 10 PM to 6 AM).

Actually, no matter how much I have complained about today and how many headaches I have had, I am looking forward to tonight, and not just so my mother will stop saying "Who is Evelyn?" every time I mention Matt's mother to her. Besides, I think my parents and Matt's parents have a few things in common - our mothers both like cooking and gardening, and our fathers both like to pretend that they don't like animals (they both actually LOVE animals).

And now it's time for me to cut up celery for the veggie plate. Matt doesn't know it yet, but he has been elected in his absence to meatball duty. Ha.

Jewelery and Pajamas

2011-01-15T22:13:00.000-05:00

On days when I don't plan to go anywhere after I come home from work I change from my work clothes into my pajamas. Today was one of those days. It was snowing (scattered snow flurries my ass) and since I am temporarily on strike from shovelling, I figured I could safely change into my pajamas for an evening spent at home, cleaning and trying to prepare mentally for tomorrow.

Tomorrow my parents and Matt's parents meet for the first time. For various reasons including work and the lousy weather from the past week, Matt hasn't been here all week. This has left me to my own devices regarding house cleaning. This is a bad thing. Given a choice, I strongly prefer to do many, many things other than clean the house.

Anyways, being somewhat distracted, when I changed from work clothing to my pajamas, I left my opal bracelet (gift from Matt when we had been "a couple" for 2 months) and my pearl with diamond accent necklace (gift from Matt for Christmas - did I mention I have the greatest boyfriend ever?) on.

I remembered to remove the bracelet before sticking my hands into dish water. I remembered to remove the necklace when I decided I needed a break from dishes and decided to take a power nap on the couch. The good news is that no harm came to my jewelery. Good thing because its worth to me has nothing to do with the financial and everything to do with the sentimental value.

But I still think my jewelery looked just fine with my pajamas.

Textbooks: The New Bathroom Reading

2011-01-14T21:36:00.001-05:00

The January term officially starts on Tuesday, January 18. I'm trying my best to prepare for this while also getting ready for Sunday's family get together (by that I mean that my parents and Matt's parents are going to meet for the first time, and yes, the cost of this event has been a portion of my sanity) and concentrating on work and updating my resume so I can find a job where I will actually earn decent money and get to work a reasonable number of hours per week.

But back to my point.

I have a large amount of reading assignments. Chapter 1 of one text, chapter 3 of another, chapters 1-6 in yet another text, and the entirety of part one (all 9 chapters) in still another text.

I have started taking my text books into the bathroom with me (at home only, obviously). I figure, if I have to be in a seated position devoting several minutes of unproductive time to bodily functions, I might as well do some reading. (Recently I read the entire book Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff during only time spent, um, taking care of business.) Regardless, I will use practically anything as bathroom reading so I might as well spend the time reading a class assignment as dipping into the latest bestselling novel. I see nothing wrong with expanding my mind while the fiber in my diet does its job.

Please note: If you were grossed out by this blog post, you should have known better than to read a post with anything about bathroom reading in the title. I apologize for nothing.

The Missing Sugar Bowl

2011-01-13T13:56:00.000-05:00

Most of the time it's really great having a boyfriend who will help around the house. I like knowing he's not dirtying up every dish in the place and trashing the bathroom with toilet misfires. I have forbidden him to do laundry, but that's because certain shirts that I wear to work will melt if placed in the dryer (where Matt dried them) and because I don't like fabric softener on my towels (which Matt added, generously, while washing bath and dish towels) (Try drying a dish with a towel that has been washed with fabric softener. I dare you.)

Not only does my guy tackle household chores but he will cook. The results are usually decent, but the methods can be a little bit odd. For example, when I am the proud owner of no less than 3 Pyrex 9x13 baking pans, he chooses to bake chicken in a pie plate. I'm not sure of the logic on that one, but the effort was there, and I appreciate it. Sometimes after working I don't feel like fixing dinner, so it's nice that Matt will put forth the effort to surprise me by cooking a meal. (He also gets an A+ for periodically surprising me with flowers, but that's a different story.)

Matt also tends to generally tidy up around the house. Since I tend to leave the house in a state of lived in untidiness, there is usually a sea of books, papers, DVDs, magazines, sticky notes, and the odd coffee mug or seltzer or beer bottle surrounding my desk. This is also nice because then I have the illusion of coming home to a clean house.

The problem is that once in a while Matt puts something away and I can't find it. Such as the sugar bowl. It had some petrified sugar stuck to the bottom so I decided it was time for a wash. I remember placing it in the sink and filling with water to dissolve the rock-hard lump of sugar that was clinging to the bottom, but that is the last I have seen of my sugar bowl. I'm sure it's here somewhere. I just can't find it.

It's time to try something radical and ask Matt where he put it. After more than a week, I am ready to admit that I won't be able to find it on my own.

Back From Blog-cation

2011-01-12T21:57:00.000-05:00

I haven't had much time to blog for the past few weeks. It's not because I have been busy, it's because I haven't been procrastinating and putting off the stuff I REALLY need to do. And let's face it - blogging is one of my favorite ways to put off doing other stuff.

Besides, my mental energy has been busy finding a solution for how to fit a deep fryer, a whole new set of pots and pans, and new dishes into my kitchen cabinets. (I have plenty of cabinets, it's just that stuff doesn't actually fit through the cabinet doors). I also have to figure out how to fit the trash generated by acquiring new pots and pans, a deep fryer, and new dishes into the trash can. And let's not talk about how I now need to make a trip to the recycling depot to drop off all the cardboard.

Best of all, I have taken lots of naps lately. Long naps. And that takes up a lot of time.

But since I am between semesters of college and don't have school work to do (and just think, I can access my January term classes today and term officially begins on January 18th), I had to do something to fill the hours and napping seemed to be the best choice. But since term officially begins next Tuesday, I am sure I will be back to the usual habit of procrastinating before long.

Within the next few days, I will have my treadmill back in a usable position. Since I prefer exercise to school work, I can always use that as an excuse to NOT get my homework done. Even if there is a book rest on the console of the treadmill, I have enough trouble understanding my homework assignments without trying to read while walking. And let's face it, reading on the treadmill would cut into time I could be using to watch my Ice Age DVDs.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T22:43:00.000-05:00

The last 36 hours were interesting. Included in this time period were the following events:

A work Christmas party that was more of a "we hate this place" party
Stuffing my mother's cat, Squeaky, into one of Daisy's sweaters (Squeaky liked it!)
Drinking more than my share of 3 liters of Asti
Ripping a hell of a lot of wrapping paper (the whole family, including the dogs, were involved in this)
Driving to my parent's house for Christmas Eve dinner then driving back home to collect my boyfriend, dog and various necessary items and then driving to my aunt's house to spend the night.
Getting up at 5:30 AM to feed my horses
Drinking A LOT of coffee (well, it helped me not get a hangover from all the Asti)
Eating chocolate
Cleaning horse stalls
Taking a nap only to wake up with Angel Kitty biting my leg and my foot cramping
Making plans to finish cataloging the book collection
Leaving my cell phone at my parents' house
Sending emails from boredom because I can't make phone calls
Trying to figure out where the gifts that I was given should be put away
Contemplating what should be the first thing cooked in my NEW stainless steel cookware
Checking the weather forecast
Debating how long I have to wait before regifting a couple of presents

At least when people ask me "how was your Christmas?" I can honestly answer "busy."

T-Day

2010-12-15T10:32:00.000-05:00

Today is Tree Day. We still have to go find the "right" tree, purchase it and bring it home, but at least the living room is reasonably clean and somewhat ready for the Christmas tree. Then it means it's time to decorate, but that should be fun.

It's also pot roast day, and I sort of wish there was a tech support hot line for pot roast the way there is for Butterball turkeys. Oh well. I'm sure I will struggle through just fine on my own, even if it does require sending Matt to the store for more carrots and onions (should have checked to see if the onions were actually still good before making the executive decision to not buy any for the pot roast).

Actually, sending Matt to the store was a stroke of genius because it means he can also pick up something for breakfast and return a few beer bottles for the deposit. Plus it gives me a minute to sit down and stop scrubbing vegetables. Somehow, 4.5 pounds of beef roast will require many more vegetables than I had expected. It is also requiring one more Crock Pot than I had expected since I decided to cut the roast in half and cook it in 2 Crock Pots. This will also let me make more veggies to go with the roast. Last time I made a pot roast I ran out of veggies before I ran out of meat.

(Relax, Ma. I can send your pot roast with Dad if he comes to look at my truck for me.)

Holiday Pet Peeve #2

2010-12-13T21:36:00.000-05:00

It's now time for the second in my list of holiday pet peeves. Even though I love Christmas, some things about the holiday season just annoy me to hell and back.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to complete a demanding final project for my statistics class, due, conveniently, on December 23rd, decorate my house for Christmas including getting a Christmas tree and all the required cleaning before I can even think of bringing a tree into the house, and trying to work some extra hours since my dickhead of a store manager thinks I can live on 19 hours of work per week.

So it means I'm likely to blow a gasket over trying to untangle the Christmas lights, let alone trying to find and replace that one bad bulb that means half the string of lights doesn't work. Then, I have to try to put the lights on the tree. I actually thought of just buying new lights this year since mine are at the age where they require intensive bulb replacements before they will consent to work. And nothing could annoy me more than having a tree full of pretty lights and pretty ornaments then having half a string of lights decide to stop working.

This year I think I will delegate everything to do with Christmas lighting to Matt. Not only is he far more patient than I but he is 6'4" so reaching the top of the tree to put the tree topper and start stringing the lights isn't a big issue for him. That's got to beat the hell out of my usual routine of climb step stool, use twist ties to secure topper to tree. Plug tree topper into first string of lights. Begin arranging lights but realize I can't reach the other side of the tree. Climb off stool and potentially trip over open box of decorations. Move stool. Climb back up for about 2 seconds, which is all it takes to loop the string of lights over that one branch to make the lights look perfect. Now can't reach the other side of the tree. Climb back of stool and decide I can reach the branch from the floor. Swear loudly when I lose my balance and crash into tree, which then crashes into window. Move stool, like I should have in the first place and continue.

This year I hope it will go more like this:

Me: Matt, can you check the lights to make sure they all work? I need to check the pot roast.

Matt: Sure. (checking lights) Looks like they all work.

Me: Good. Want to start putting them on the tree? I need to find the gravy mix.

Matt: Okay.

Me: (Lingering in the kitchen for as long as possible so I don't try to take over tree lighting duty) I'll be back in there in a minute, I just want to check the potatoes too.

Matt: (Continues to put lights on tree)

I think we can see how this is going to work out. Lucky for me, my guy hasn't put up a Christmas tree of his own for quite some time so chances are good he won't mind even the annoying stuff. But even if it annoys him, he will probably prefer to take care of the lights for himself rather than watch me have a nervous breakdown about it.

Decorating this year should require less wine (and whining) than usual. But I suspect something about it will still annoy me.

The Countdown

2010-12-12T11:47:00.000-05:00

Fall term ends on December 23. This sucks for a lot of reasons including the fact that studying is interfering with time I could be spending sending out Christmas cards (thanks, relatives, for sending me cards. Guess I can't ignore that little bit of Christmas this year).

It also sucks because today is the 12th, I am writing a blog entry instead of doing my statistics homework, and I am 3 assignments behind in that class. I actually thought it was only one assignment, but it turns out to be more. Oh well. Guess that only proves that I really don't give a shit about confidence intervals.

It also means I know I will be spending tomorrow watching online statistics tutorials (yes, watching paint dry is much more fascinating. As is watching grass grow). I can probably become mostly caught up if I have one day to work on the assignments without interruptions.

Actually, I don't know what it's like to work on anything without interruptions, so I have my doubts. The last few days off I have been interrupted by the Time Warner Cable guy trying to sell me digital cable and a home phone (neither of which I need or want), going to the dentist, grocery shopping, drinking medicinal beer after going to the dentist, walking the dog, phone calls, my parents coming over (this morning - and okay, it wasn't technically an interruption but more of a delay in starting my accounting homework) and other important things like the need to shower and do laundry. Going to work also interrupts my homework time, but since I am not yet independently wealthy, I can live with that.

So. Apparently my chances for an interruption free day of homework are rather small. Especially now that it occurs to me that I desperately need to go to the bank...

Only another 11 homework days til semester break.

$150 Mouthwash

2010-12-10T12:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the dreaded dental appointment. Yes, it sucked. Yes, I was there for well over an hour for simple x-rays and a 2 minute consultation with the dentist. Somehow in those 2 minutes the dentist made me feel like a bag of shit for having put a higher priority on keeping the rent paid than getting a crown on a molar.

Whatever. It's like this: yes, there is a filling in that tooth. Yes, a portion of the tooth next to the filling has broken off. Yes, it is slightly painful, but only when I brush my teeth too vigorously in that spot. Does that mean I am going to immediately spend the $2000 (that I don't have) on the variety of excessive treatments recommended by the dentist prior to paying $1000 for a crown? No.

Part of the $2000 in treatments included a home teeth cleaning device that costs $350 and prescription mouthwash (brand name of course) that costs $150 for a quart.

For that price, maybe I should just sterilize my mouth with vodka three times per day.

And once I am completely drunk on vodka, I plan to find a new dentist. The logic behind this is simple: I made a poor decision by choosing this dentist while sober. Maybe while drunk I can make a better choice.

Dentist Visits

2010-12-09T13:51:00.000-05:00

Every time I find a new dentist something forces me to have to stop going to that office. A few years ago I went to a nice dentist who was understanding of my complete phobia of all things dental related. He even referred me to an oral surgeon who would pull my wisdom teeth all at once to save me from having to have teeth pulled on more than one occasion. Of course, then I lost my dental insurance and didn't feel like driving to Queensbury when there are dentists right here in Saratoga Springs.

The next dentist was also rather nice. The problem there was that they scheduled me for fillings on a day that their office was closed and couldn't seem to understand why I was mad because I had to schedule a day off work, dread the appointment, then finally get there and find that the office is locked up with a note on the door saying "Office Closed Today". I think that would have annoyed anyone.

For some reason it's also hard to find dentists who are accepting new patients. Really? Why is this such an issue? Or is it because you found out that I don't have dental insurance and you wont be able to charge me the same amount as you could get from the insurance company?

So, after dreading this for a while, I finally broke down and found a new dentist. My appointment is in about an hour and I'm already trying to fight off a panic attack. I knew I should have tried to get a nice Valium prescription to take the edge off my nerves before the appointment.

Anyways, because I am a new patient with no insurance, they are being nice and offering me free x-rays and a free consultation. Hope that consultation includes a discussion of which relaxing medications I would prefer before entering the office for an actual procedure. Seriously, if I'm this nervous about a simple consultation and some x-rays, I'm going to need some Xanax at least to get me into the office when they want to drill into a tooth.

I Could Almost Live There

2010-12-07T22:42:00.000-05:00

Today at work I happened to notice that I was having the hair day from hell. By that I mean my hair was simultaneously limp and stringy looking but also somewhat static-y and wavy. Not a good combination. Genius that I am, I realized that I have a couple of extra bottles of hair spray and a couple extra tubes of hair gel. Light bulb moment: why don't I take hair stuff to work, leave it in my locker, and then I can combat bad hair as needed?

The alternative is just get up early enough to have time to deal with my hair before having to leave for work (just in time to be five minutes late), but that isn't sounding likely. Besides, I have an extra hairbrush (purchased in Bedford, MA while on vacation because, naturally, I forgot mine at home) and the excessive amounts of product, so why not enable myself to have good hair?

I could even leave a bottle of perfume in my locker just in case. It would go well with the hair stuff and the deodorant that I already keep in my locker. The tampons, band aids and antibiotic ointment (any good place of employment would have these in a first aid kit, but not my place of employment) and extra water bottle could keep it all company.

Maybe I need a bigger locker. I could almost move into a locker if there was only room for a bed. But that locking from the outside thing could be kind of problematic. Sooner or later I would piss someone off to the point that they would lock me in.

Christmas Decorations

2010-12-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

I started decorating for Christmas yesterday. Yes, I know it was only December 1st, but I felt like putting some decorations in place and it's still nowhere near as bad as the idiots down the street who put their Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving.

Not only did I wait until AFTER Thanksgiving to start decorating, I haven't even considered getting my Christmas tree yet. I won't consider getting a Christmas tree for another couple of weeks. I like real trees but I don't like when they dry out, turn brown, litter the floor with spent needles and become a fire hazard before Christmas gets here. I spent a lot of time and money picking out those presents and Angel Kitty will spend a lot of time helping me wrap the presents so I don't want them to burn up because a dried up Christmas tree caught fire and incinerated the gifts.

Matt helped me with decorating. By "helped" I mean he sat on the couch out of the way playing World of Warcraft while I arranged my Christmas candles, horse and sleigh decorations (I have 3), reindeer and sleigh, and the mini ceramic Christmas tree (one of the fiber optic ones) on top of the entertainment center. He did leave the computer long enough to hang a garland of silver bells from the ceiling hooks above the kitchen counter. I also informed him that he will be in charge of putting the lights on the porch this year. I'm not sure but I think he's looking forward to it. I also think he's looking forward to decorating the tree.

The goal this year is to just relax and have fun for the holidays. I suspect that this is possible but have never actually tried it. I am finished with buying gifts this year, so all I have to do is wrap the ones that have already arrived, wait for the few that are still on order, decorate the house, and bake Christmas cookies. I asked Matt how he feels about baking Christmas cookies and he said he liked the idea, so we will have to spend part of a day baking.

Now I just have to get at least a couple of the same days off as Matt so we can find a Christmas tree, bake cookies and spend time with our families.

The Blanket Wars

2010-12-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

I like to roll up in the blankets a bit like a burrito when I'm sleeping alone. This is problematic when Matt stays over (which he does most of the time) because he prefers to have the blankets drag on the floor on his side of the bed. That means I don't have anywhere near enough blanket to roll up in like a burrito. That's probably just as well because between Matt on one side and Angel Kitty on the other I am way too warm (not to mention not able to roll over).

Matt also has this habit of sleeping in the middle of the bed. He claims it's because there is a dent in the mattress and he falls into it but I think it has more to do with the fact that he finds it funny to have me squashed between him and a cat, without enough blankets.

So I spend most of most nights lying on the very edge of the bed with the blankets about half covering me, which means my ass is exposed to the draft. Since I keep the thermometer set at a bracing 64 degrees (shhh! I tell people it's set at 65!), my ass gets COLD.

And Matt wonders why I think rolling over to chill him with my cold ass is amusing. Probably has something to do with the 14 feet of blanket dragging on the floor on his side of the bed. And something to do with not being able to roll over without bumping into him because he's hogging the bed.

The strange part about all this is that I sleep surprisingly well when Matt is here.

Heart Attack Time

2010-11-29T11:05:00.000-05:00

This morning started out well. Spent a few minutes lying in bed talking to Matt and being purred at by Angel Kitty before getting out of bed (and really, does anything start the day off better than purring?). When I got out of bed I discovered that I am having a good hair day for the second time this month. Got dressed, and my formerly tight pair of jeans fit fine. I let Daisy out of her kennel and she waited patiently for me to get my shoes and coat on to take her outside for her morning walkies. By patient, I mean she only twirled in a couple of circles while I attached the leash.

Then we went outside. First surprise, the sun is out and it was not nearly as cold as I had expected.

Second surprise, there was a squirrel in my yard.

Third surprise, my little ten-pound dog actually CAN pull the leash out of my hand when she decides to chase a squirrel.

Fourth surprise, I actually CAN run fast enough to catch a little dog, or maybe that's just because the sight of my dog running across the street scared the hell out of me.

Fortunately I caught Daisy without any harm coming to anyone, even the squirrel. I was shaking like a leaf when I got Daisy back in the house, but I still gave her a treat for actually stopping and letting me catch her. Note to self: knitted gloves with chenille cuffs, no matter how cute or how well they match my scarf and hat, or how nice they look with my grey coat, are not good for dog walking.

Christmas Shopping

2010-11-28T14:32:00.000-05:00

The good news is that I finally decided what to buy the dog for Christmas. The bad news is that I now actually have to buy it.

She is getting something rather cool. She's getting a portable kennel for those rare times when she goes on an overnight trip with me and also a fold able plush doghouse. This has no purpose at all except to sit in the living room and look cute and provide a cozy place for Daisy to take a nap. Actually, I like the plush doghouse so much that I plan to buy one for Angel Kitty as well. Shh. Better call it a cat house so she doesn't hear me say the d-word.

Just as hard was figuring out what to buy Matt's family. Luckily he gave me a bit of help with that. By "help" I mean that he more or less chose what to buy his family. I guess that's a good thing. He knows them better than I do and is more likely to pick out a gift that's not just appropriate, but something that will be enjoyed by the recipient.

Since I have a rare Sunday off, we picked today as the day to visit the mall and pick up the few Christmas gifts that we have not yet purchased. Since I work in retail, visiting the mall on my day off has all the appeal of hemorrhoid surgery (which, considering mine are about the size of bell peppers, is rather appealing). Okay, new analogy. Visiting the mall on a weekend day off is about as appealing as yanking my fingernails off with pliers.

I plan to talk Matt into going out for dinner since I will need something alcoholic to help me recover from the trauma of visiting the mall on a Sunday. And I think we have to visit Petsmart to buy things for the little darlings as well.

Black Friday Report of Sightings of Stupidity

2010-11-26T18:45:00.000-05:00

I was blessed with working the 6 AM shift today. Not that it mattered, because my illustrious place of employment opened at 4 AM, thus allowing me to completely miss all the dumb things that happened at that time. Such as people actually waiting in the parking lot for the store to open. I can't figure out the fun of that. Don't people have a life? Doesn't anyone want to sleep off the Thanksgiving hangover? Okay, maybe that's just my brother, but still.

The first stupid person came up to me while brandishing a sales flier. She wanted to know where to find a certain item that was on the front page of the flier. It happened to be in the middle of the aisle, about 10 feet from where she was ranting about how she couldn't find it. The sign was only about 3 feet tall. I can see how it would have been easy to miss.

The next sighting of stupid was the person who insisted her mixer was supposed to be $14.99. It was: with a $10 mail in rebate, therefore, she had to pay $24.99 and send in a form for the $10. This was clearly stated on a sign placed conveniently at eye level on the display. But I had to leave a line of customers to walk this person back over to the display to show her the sign - something that she had clearly already seen as her argument was "the sign said this was $!4.99." Proof that people stop reading before crucial points are made. This is not to say that customer was stupid, just saying she was unobservant. The store is stupid for making the signs confusing.

The next sighting of stupid was a fellow store associate who tried to walk a little too fast while pushing a cart loaded with boxes of gift boxes and nearly taking out a pregnant woman who was coming around the corner from the other direction.

In my opinion, the best example of stupidity was the guy in the Expedition (which Ford stopped selling because, put simply, they suck) who couldn't manage to get it into a parking space. Let's just say it wasn't too challenging of a space to pull in to. This guy literally had to back up and try again 4 times before finally getting his SUV into the center of the space. Naturally, he was still too close to the car next to him for it to be possible to open the doors, but that's what you get when you circle the lot repeatedly looking for the closest parking space even if your vehicle won't fit into it.

So, I don't regret that this will be my last Black Friday in retail. I won't miss it when I'm gone.

Dreaming of a White Thanksgiving?

2010-11-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

Since my Thanksgiving holiday involves a bit of travel (to Whitehall, NY on Wednesday and to Northville, NY on Thursday), I just checked the weather forecast to see what to expect (read: dread). When I saw the possibility for snow, I decided it's lucky for me that I will be doing the driving.

What it said is a chance for rain and snow. Just what I like best with a turkey dinner: snow. It really makes it more fun to fry the turkey when you get to walk through the snow to do it.

Although, if my brother manages to catch the pole barn on fire with the turkey fryer, snow might be a good thing as it might help put out the fire. (To his credit, so far he has not set anything on fire and has fried at least 5 turkeys.)

Another thing that goes well with Thanksgiving is having my Christmas shopping done. I have only 4 people left to buy stuff for, and that's Matt's family. Not that this is in any way as slur on his family because they are great, but honestly? I did all the shopping for my family, even the stuff that will be from Matt, so he can shop for his family. This should work out well for a couple reasons. He should have more of an idea what they will like and what they might need since he knows them better than I do at this point.

Although the major shopping part of my holidays is over, I know myself well enough to know that I will end up picking up a few more things for everyone on my list. Especially if I find neat stuff at cheap prices and know people on my shopping list will enjoy those things.

Now I just have to squeeze in things like family gatherings and spending time with friends between completing two rather time consuming end of term projects for the semester that ends on December 23 and also my work schedule which will shortly become completely out of control. And it might be nice to get the house clean sometime before the end of the year, and I'm sure Angel and Daisy would prefer if I purchase more food for them sometime in the very near future.

Thanksgiving: The Missing Holiday

2010-11-19T20:45:00.000-05:00

I expect that retail facilities in the United States will soon choose to disregard Thanksgiving. Think about it: the one holiday in a year that is supposed to be about giving thanks for what you have is being transformed into a holiday where greed rules.

I recently found out that KB Toys will open for Black Friday ON THANKSGIVING! Talk about greed and rampant consumerism. Greed on the part of the company and rampant consumerism on the part of the people who will choose to shop instead of enjoying the holiday with their families and/or friends. Although now that I think about it, KB Toys no doubt needs to do something drastic since they seem to be struggling to stay in business.

On a different level, it's Thanksgiving pretty much about greed anyways? Since it's an excuse for people to eat as much food as possible, it's not that much of a stretch from that to shopping and probably screaming at the cashier for not giving them the "Black Friday Sale Price" when it's not even Black Friday. And it's not the cashier's fault if the customer is an idiot.

This is going to be my final holiday season working in retail. I want the option of staying home and sleeping late on Black Friday, which means maybe being able to get a little bit drunk on Thanksgiving (hey, I'll have my designated driver - this means Matt - with me). I don't want to have to deal with the meanness of spirit and stupidity that makes people who are sort of normal the other 364 days of the year turn into complete morons.

Congratulations all retail establishments. You have made me dread Thanksgiving.

Holiday Idiot Sighting

2010-11-16T21:56:00.000-05:00

I had to visit Gertrude Hawk Chocolates last night on my break. Sure, you think it was for me, but one of my coworkers asked me to get her a frozen banana dipped in milk chocolate. Since I was only getting a couple candy bars and my co worker's banana, I just waited in line at the register behind some fool who was purchasing like $60 worth of candy. Wonder if there are any diabetics in her house? Just saying.

Anyways, Gertrude Hawk has these holiday moose stuffed animals that you can, apparently, get for $4.99 if you spend more than $40. So the cashier tells the fool her total, and the fool proceeds to announce to the world that she has twin girls and if she came home with only one moose...well, she couldn't possibly get just one.

The cashier quickly informs the fool that she can get two of the moose toys for $4.99 each.

The fool then grabs two of the stuffed moose toys off the display and puts them on the counter, telling the cashier and I again how she has twin girls and couldn't possibly go home with just one moose. By this time I just want her to get the hell out of my way so I can get my candy and go back to work and the cashier just wants her to get the hell out of the store so she doesn't have to listen to her talk about her twin girls anymore.

The fool hands over her debit card, which is declined.

The cashier quietly tells her, that her card was declined.

The fool then starts ranting about how she doesn't know why she is having so much trouble with her card anymore and she knows she has enough funds in the account to cover it and blah blah. So the fool gives the cashier another debit card, apparently for the same account because that was declined as well.

Then the fool proceeds to pull out her cell phone and call her bank. While on hold, she proceeds to tell the cashier and I, again, that she doesn't understand why the card is being declined because she knows she has enough funds in the account. (Yes, she actually said funds. As if the cashier and I were going to be impressed that she didn't say "money" like us common folk.)

The cashier finally just voids the fool's sale and asks me what she can help me with. I tell her about the chocolate covered frozen banana and she starts to prepare it. Meanwhile, the fool is in the corner of the store closest to the cash register shrieking at someone at her bank about how she has the funds to cover her purchase and yet the card is being declined.

I have no idea how that ended, because I got my candy bars and the chocolate covered banana and ran away. Although I did feel like kicking the fool in her stupid face on my way out of the store, I managed to resist.

Childproof Or Not

2010-11-13T17:57:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, my good friends J and G are coming over for dinner. (I will use their initials to protect the guilty, er, I mean innocent. Haha. Of course I meant innocent.) Anyways, their toddler will be accompanying them to dinner, which is stressful to me on so many levels.

Here's the thing. I know, in spite of having NO exposure to the species, that toddlers get into EVERYTHING. I also know that I have tons of stuff around the house and absolutely no ambition to pick up that stuff. (What, you thought I stopped procrastinating?) If I manage to clean the toilet and pick up all the stuff that's scattered on the bathroom floor (thanks to a water line exploding at 4 AM, but this is another story) before J and G get here, it's going to be a miracle. Plus, I have to go shopping, cook dinner, and, hopefully, prevent my dog from biting their child.

Oh relax, that's why child gates and dog crates were invented - the keep the two types of troublemakers separate. So, the child gate goes at the end of the hall and the dog goes into her kennel. This keeps a space of a good 20 feet between the dog and the child. Adequate for safety I'm sure, since my dog still weighs in at only ten pounds.

I expect the night to go something like this: Because G is on some kind of diet and not eating carbs, he will haul in his own form of food, probably some type of chicken. We will most likely torture him by telling him how good the hidden veggie mac and cheese is (that's assuming it is actually good, since I have never had it before, I really couldn't say. But Matt picked the recipe. There. That's my defense.). Chances are good that the guys, G and Matt, will talk in nerd-speak while J and I complain about the joys of working in retail as Christmas approaches. Their little boy will most likely explore the house, hopefully not crawling on the floor because the dog still pees on the carpet on a regular basis and I don't have time to run the rug cleaner. Also, hopefully not managing to shift breakables from shelves and tables onto his head or the floor. Daisy will bark her head off all night, I'll end up with a raging headache and strong desire for alcohol and we will call it a night.

The Animals In The House

2010-11-12T22:55:00.000-05:00

I admit to becoming pissed off at relatively minor things on a regular basis. Today, every other animal in this house got on my nerves at least a little bit.

Daisy pissed me off (well, as much as a sweet little dog can piss me off) by peeing on the floor twice and taking a HUGE dump on the floor while I was at work. And I only worked a 4 hour shift. Usually she saves that for the days when I am away for at least 7 to 8 hours.

Angel pissed me off by getting out of her litter box and leaving a trail of turds behind her as she headed out of the bathroom into the hall. Annoying because I stepped in it as I entered the bathroom. Seriously, can't she just stay in the litter box until she is finished? Also, she was being bitey and obnoxious while I was trying to fold laundry.

I did laundry today and that is how Matt annoyed me. I found that he had left the belt on one of his pairs of pants. This was annoying for a few reasons. First, the belt was completely 80's fabulous. Second, the pants it had been retaining were one of the pairs he should just say goodbye to and donate them since they are 2 waist sizes too big and two length sizes too short. Third, this pair of pants complete with belt was in the hamper on top of a wet towel. And we all know why not to throw wet towels into the hamper where they won't dry and will mildew because God know I won't be washing that much laundry for a few days.

But if policing damp towels and the bodily wastes of the animals was the worst thing I had to deal with today, that's a good thing. It might annoy me that Matt does things like put wet towels into the hamper where they could mildew or leave the belt on his pants when he puts his pants in the hamper, but compared to the pets, that's nothing.

Holiday Pet Peeve #1

2010-11-11T22:50:00.000-05:00

There are so many things that annoy me about working retail in general, but around the holiday it becomes even more annoying for many reasons. The first reason?

Stores put out their fake trees and decorations before Halloween. Did I miss something here? I thought Christmas was only one day out of the year, but we are supposed to spend two months preparing for Christmas? Why don't we just change the name to Retailmas since it's obvious we are really only celebrating the retail season. Who cares about actually spending time with families? As long as you buy them a present, it's okay.

Not only that, but who can remember for 10 months if they need to replace the lights for their tree or not?

Not Quite Yet, Thank You

2010-11-09T16:52:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we got almost an inch of the white shit. I don't mind a bit of snow, at least not from December 23 to January 2. Mostly that's just because it makes my Christmas lights look even prettier. Outside of that time frame, I reserve the right to bitch my head off about it. Seriously, it's cold, slippery, heavy when you have to shovel it, time consuming for both shovelling and trying to go to work and it requires me to put a sweater on my dog before taking her for walkies.

If this is an indication of what I can expect for the rest of the winter, I think I'm going to hibernate this year.

Anyways, with less than an inch of snow and because we live in upstate NY where anything under 6 inches of snow is generally referred to as a "dusting," the road crews don't even bother to get in their trucks for less than an inch. No sand or salt on the roads, no snowplows, nothing. Just a bunch of idiot motorists who have forgotten what little they used to know about driving on snowy roads. (Hint, it's called four wheel DRIVE, not four wheel stop.)

Fortunately it all melted today, but since I had paper whites trying to grow at this time last year, I can already tell which kind of weather I prefer. And it has nothing to do with any kind of weather than involves shovelling.

Researching Rewards

2010-11-07T22:49:00.000-05:00

Because of my recently started quest for health and fitness, I have created an elaborate strategy of goals and rewards for reaching those goals.

For my first month, I set the goal of losing 8 pounds. I figure that should be easy, even with Thanksgiving coming up. I mean, I have the love affair with the treadmill to keep me going.

My month one reward is a professional massage. Since I have lost five pounds already, I am only three pounds away from earning my reward. Therefore, I am already researching the best possible spa that I can afford that offers a hot stone massage.

What the hell, it was also a good way to put off doing my homework. And now I think I'll go set the rest of my clocks back since I didn't bother to do so last night. (No, I did not go to work an hour early, thank you very much.)

I Don't Call That Active

2010-11-06T19:37:00.000-04:00

As everyone in the world by now knows, I am in love with my new Nordic Track treadmill. Because I have used it so many times in this past week, I am faced with the tough decision of either doing laundry more often (so I have clean exercise clothes) or simply buying a couple more pairs of shorts and some better shirts to wear during workouts.

Guess which option I will, eventually choose? Hint, it has to do with whipping out the debit card and employee discount to a certain store. It also has to do with not having to sweat all over my prized Ozzy t-shirt anymore.

Today while I was bored at work (which was for the first 2.5 hours), I started looking at the options for workout clothing. Sadly, they call it "active wear" which has a much more broad definition than "stuff you wear to exercise." For example, I don't plan to wear studded velour lounge pants on the treadmill, ever. Actually, I don't plan to wear studded velour lounge pants ever, forget about on the treadmill.

This brings me to the question of exactly why the hell do they classify lounge pants as active wear in the first place? If you are lounging you are clearly not being active. If you are being active you are not lounging (twelve ounce curls are NOT considered active, just so we are all clear on this). Also, not all plus size women sit on their asses all day (see above where I mentioned using the treadmill and requiring more workout clothing).

Wouldn't you think that there would be a plethora of choices in exercise apparel for fat chicks? Wouldn't this country WANT to encourage larger folks to pry themselves out of the ass print on the couch, put down the Pringles, and move? If obesity is such an epidemic, doesn't it make sense to subsidize retailers to offer cute and functional workout clothes in bigger sizes? And why not classify the lounge pants with pajamas or something, since lounge pants are really nothing but glorified (and most likely overpriced) pajamas?

Also, why am I the only person who thinks about things like this?

Upper Body Exercise

2010-10-31T22:13:00.000-04:00

As of today, I am the proud owner of a Nordic Track T5.3 treadmill. The fact that it is still (apparently happily) on the back of my truck is completely irrelevant.

Actually the truth is that it weighs a hell of a lot more than I want to lift. Matt believes (probably correctly) that the chances are good that I will hurt myself should I attempt to life the treadmill, so he has made arrangements for his two brothers to come over and help with the heavy lifting.

So, because the treadmill is only going to give my legs a workout, I'm trying to come up with everyday, around-the-house activities that give my upper body some exercise. Here's the list:

Hurling Angel Kitty off the bed when she jumps on me and bites me while I am trying to sleep.
Running the steam cleaner to try to clean the carpet where Daisy pees on it. This could also be considered total body exercise now that I think about it.
Hanging clothes in the closet. This might not be exercise to anyone but me, but if you put all your clothes on hangers then try to lift them all at once and hang them on the closet bar without dropping any, you have exercise.
The ever popular 12 ounce curl.
Styling my hair. (Holding my hands over my head for five minutes does too count!)
Moving my textbooks from one place to another.
Dishes (if it causes pain, I get to claim it as exercise and washing dishes makes my back hurt).
Planting flowers or working in the yard (yes, I know I try to avoid yard work as much as possible. And as for planting flowers, well, I have about 100 bulbs still in their packages that need to be placed in the ground ASAP)

I suspect there will be a small amount of assembly required on the treadmill so hopefully Matt's brothers are okay with helping him assemble as well, since I prefer tossing the cat off the bed to assembling exercise equipment for my upper body exercise.

Not Exactly Mrs. Clean, But...

2010-10-29T22:50:00.000-04:00

Today I think I should win an award for organization. Yes, I still have papers on the floor in the living room, the dog craps on the floor at least twice a week (which is a huge improvement over every day), and I still store the toilet paper that I insist on buying in bulk in the bathtub (relax, I have a separate shower), but today I got rid of 3 big boxes of books and organized my bedroom book shelf. Yay me.

To do all this, I had to slay a few large dust bunnies that were intent on biting me. I'm pretty sure dust bunnies are misnamed. They seem more like dust-mini-pinschers. You know, yappy, bitey, obnoxious things that get in the way. Seriously, you would think the dust bunnies would know better since I now am the proud owner of a dust buster and can suck them up before they get close enough to bite or otherwise inflict injury. Yes, it probably is a bit psycho to actively fear dust bunnies, but that's okay. Compared to fear of string, it's blissfully normal. (I mean, what the hell? Is the string going to chase you and bite you? No. On the other hand, if a dust bunny gets close enough, I'm pretty sure those WILL bite.)

I admit that Matt is a good influence on me as far as house cleaning is concerned. (I refer you to the day I spent 4 hours painting the porch and he spent 4 hours cleaning the house.) I have been washing dishes on a regular basis, not so much because I have started to care about leaving dirty dishes in the sink, but out of guilt that Matt might wash them before I get a chance and I don't want him to think I only have him here to clean up after my lazy, messy self. Although that is a factor...

Next project? Steam cleaning the carpet yet again. But first, I will dress Daisy in her tiger Halloween costume for my entertainment. I deserve to laugh at her since I have clean her urine out of the carpet.

Happy Birthday To Me

2010-10-28T22:26:00.000-04:00

Although I was not looking forward to my birthday this year, I have to admit I had a very good day. Maybe it was just the thought that I am now only one year away from 30 and I'm not sure how the hell that happened. Maybe I just had a lot on my mind and did not put much thought into how I could best spend the day.

Matt and I spent the morning together. We went to DMV first thing because although the renewal form had been sitting on my desk for about 6 weeks, I forgot to renew my license until yesterday when I had to cash a check and the teller reminded me that my ID expired today. I did learn that DMV at the mall is not terribly busy in the morning, and the longest wait came from waiting for the clerks to end their personal conversations and call my frigging number after the receptionist took my (doomed to be awful) photo for my license.

We also stopped in Dick's Sporting Goods and Sears as the Quest For Exercise Equipment continued. While I had my heart set on a elliptical machine, I'm forced to admit that my current space can't accommodate one. I will be better off with a treadmill - at least I can fold up the belt on that to make it smaller when we are not using it. Besides, Matt and I decided we might just hurt ourselves with an elliptical. With our mutual lack of coordination and the potential for major knee injuries on an elliptical, we are better off walking on a flat surface (even if that surface is moving).

After Matt went to work I choose a visit to Barnes and Noble as my birthday gift to myself. A couple hours and $200 later, I decided to also pick up a pizza and stock up on wine. Besides, my aunt Chris and my friend and former roommate Laurie are coming over tomorrow and I need all the wine I can get for that event. (Haha.)

I also made myself my very own cheesecake since the pumpkin one is at Matt's parents' house. I was pretty sure I wouldn't get out of there alive if I tried to take the cheesecake with me, and it's not like they are difficult to make, so I just opted to make my own today.

I think it's safe to say that my afternoon consisted of eating pizza, drinking wine (a rather good Shiraz called Tall Poppy) and then enjoying a rather large slice of cheesecake. (And no, I do not find it ironic that I spent the morning looking at treadmills and the afternoon with cheesecake. It's my passion for cheesecakes that makes me want to exercise more.)

Matt's family gave me a birthday card yesterday. I found it amusing that his mother signed it with her name then wrote "mom" in parenthesis. I actually think this is a good sign - it means she likes me, but it might mean that she's getting her hopes up.

Bacon Cheesecake

2010-10-27T22:04:00.013-04:00

Today Matt's family invited Matt and I over for dinner. I like this idea because 1- I like his family and 2 - it means food that I did NOT have to cook for myself (or worry strenuously while Matt cooks).

It did mean that I volunteered to make a pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. And why not? It's cheesecake with a little pumpkin and some pumpkin pie spice and it's delicious. This did require simultaneous Internet searching (by Matt) and cookbook searching (by me) when I discovered that the recipe I had intended to use was a complete dud (hint - it did not require baking).

Of course when we related this story (after everyone was raving about how AWESOME my cheesecake was), one of Matt's brothers thought we said the cheesecake did not require bacon. Sadly, this drove us to a boredom-induced Google search today where we found that there is such a thing as Bacon Cheesecake.

Actually, in its defense, it does sound pretty good. The recipe calls for ricotta, onions, bacon and I forgot what else. I guess it's supposed to be an appetizer, possibly as a spread for crackers.

I am totally making it for Matt's brother Charlie for his birthday next week.

Hate Mail To Microsoft

2010-10-19T23:35:00.000-04:00

I'm developing another grudge against Microsoft Office.

First, I have to try a little back story and admit that I'm an idiot. I didn't realize that I had Office XP (2002) installed on my computer and actually thought I had 2007. Okay, yeah, I was wrong. Whatever. Anyways, my Statistics course requires Office 2007, specifically Excel 2007. Which of course I did not have, and this in turn caused me to wonder for a couple weeks exactly why the hell I couldn't get my assignments and discussion posts to work out correctly. Then came the blinding flash of insight - maybe if I had the right program this stuff would be working!

So today Matt had to spend $150 on the purchase of Office 2010. Pity my computer refused to read the disc so I can't install it. Typical.

If I were to immediately compose hate mail to Bill Gates it would probably read something like this:
"Thank you, for once again creating a product that has made my life miserable and completely shafted me in regards to obtaining certain personal goals such as finishing my degree. If I didn't hate Linux so much, I would probably immediately switch to their operating system in protest at you pissing me off yet again. By the way, my next computer will be a MAC." Then I would wish Bill a pleasant day, because really? Hate mail is so much more effective if you bracket it with niceness.

And now I'm off to jam a fork into my eye, since Bill Gates isn't here to do it in person.

Lesson Learned

2010-10-15T20:20:00.000-04:00

I am looking forward to Monday. Now if I were a normal person and worked weekdays and had weekends off, this might be a different story. Since I work retail and weekends in my world are meaningless, Monday is my next day off. That doesn't mean that I have any special plans.

Matt has the day off as well so we figured on staying in, I'll make french toast (which I hate, but Matt likes it and also does housework on a regular basis, so I will make it for him. Meanwhile, I'll stick with my grocery store brand knockoff Total cereal and yogurt.) and we will draw up a design for the future utility closet that will soon take the place of the bathtub. We also decided it's a good day to organize all the brochures that we dragged back from our road trip to Boston and other places.

Of all the things I learned on that trip, the most important is that no matter where I go or what plans I have, I should never travel without an umbrella and sunscreen. These are the two things that I will most likely need if I do not have them. Need I remind everyone of the Boston Commons soaking?

Home Sweet Home

2010-10-13T21:25:00.001-04:00

I just spent two days on housework and various chores to get the place ready for winter. What makes this even better is that Matt has this philosophy that if I'm doing housework, he should be doing housework as well (this is why I try to do the laundry when he's at work - he can't fold clothes without wrinkling them into oblivion - and yes, I will wear pants that are wrinkled to hell and back without a word of complaint because I'm so happy that Matt helps with housework). While I spent close to 4 hours painting the new porch (finally), Matt spent close to 4 hours straightening up my clutter in the bedroom, the spare room and the living room, vacuuming, running the rug cleaner and washing dishes. The house looks great, inside and out, but I'm not completely sure where all my stuff went.

Once again, I'm not going to complain because hey, at least my guy does housework. I also was entertained by the role reversal. I'm outside painting and he's inside vacuuming. It also worked out well for me because on my scale of preferences, vacuuming rates just below doing dishes on the list of chores that I don't care to do.

The bad news is that we now have a few ideas for other projects. Neither one of us uses my bathtub so we are considering removing it and making the currently wasted 4x5 feet of space in the bathroom into a massive utility closet. I expect this to be more efficient than storing the toilet paper that I buy in bulk in the bathtub. I should also have room for a utility sink. That means no more having to pour mop water in the kitchen sink or the toilet. It also means a place to store power tools where they are handy and not in the way (like in their current place in the spare room closet).

Also, Matt plans to make my lazy ass become more active and is in fact talking about getting me a new, better bike. This won't be hard because the bike I have is the same one my mother bought me when I was about 12 - and it wasn't a great bike then. All the years of use have done it no good at all. Never mind the fact that my base level of laziness never allowed me to learn how to shift a 10 speed bike properly. I told Matt I would consider bike riding next spring if and only if he can find me a bike seat that doesn't annoy my bell pepper-sized hemorrhoids.

Because biking will require me getting a new bike and also storing Matt's bike in the shed, it has dawned on us that we are going to need a bigger shed. So it's either add a small lean-to on the side of the shed that I already have, or say to hell with it since the walls and floor are already starting to rot out in my existing shed and just buy or build a bigger one.

Now if I could only invent a way to have 30 hours in every day, I might have time to take on all these projects, continue to work full time and go to school full time. And maybe have time to lie on the couch once in a while and read a book too.

The final thought for today? Home is the place where you always are concerned with the condition of your septic system.

Why Not To Let Your Boyfriend Use The Camera

2010-10-08T19:26:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I love looking like my umbrella sprouted directly from my cleavage.

Anyways, I survived the Boston trip and have a number of great ideas for future blog posts. It's just a matter of finding the time to actually write.

Damn, I knew there was a downside to having a life.

A Few Things To Avoid

2010-09-27T14:50:00.001-04:00

After the events of Saturday night, I have decided that there are several things that it will be in my best interest to avoid.

Asking my aunt to pick up take out.
Making a left turn from Route 50 to Perry Road.
Food from Moe's.

All this is because my aunt Chris was nice enough to go pick up some takeout from Moe's on Saturday night because I had homework to finish but wanted to have dinner and hang out with her for a little while to give her the final instructions on how to properly care for Daisy and Angel while I am away this week. On her way back, while waiting for traffic before making the left turn onto Perry Road from Route 50, someone who was not paying attention ended up rear ending Chris's car and rolling the van that the other driver was in. Because it was a rear impact, Chris was transported to the hospital. (She's fine but will most likely be sore as hell for a few days, and pissed off until her car gets fixed.)

The bottom line is that I did not get my homework done last night. I did not get dinner from Moe's until much later when it was cold, congealed and generally disgusting. I did manage to hang out with my aunt a little bit but doing so while she is in the emergency room was NOT the plan.

Next time, I'm driving.

Did I mention how reassuring it was that this happened just BEFORE I leave on a four day road trip?